Narcissists can be intensely formidable and it is incredibly normal to want to try to combat them, get them brought to justice and stop the terrible rampage that they may be inflicting on you and others.
If you’ve tried EVERYTHING you can to STOP their behaviour and nothing is working. I really want you to understand that being a MATCH for a narcissist doesn’t work.
You would have to stoop to their level and SELL your SOUL.
There is a better way. A REAL way to get up and out of narcissistic abuse and even DEFEAT narcissists.
It is this… Becoming NOT a MATCH for them.
Come with me today in this episode and I will explain exactly WHAT that is, HOW to do it and WHY it works.
Would you love to no longer be a match for a narcissist?
I promise you that being a match for a narcissist is not what you want to be because this leaves you highly susceptible to them.
There is no matching a narcissist in a traditional sense, meaning being able to have it out with them and win, unless you’re a narcissist yourself. You would have to be as underhanded, pathological and malicious as they are.
There is a much more EFFECTIVE way…
The best way to overcome a narcissist and get free from one is to become NOT a match for them any longer.
In today’s TTV episode, I’m going to explain to you exactly how to achieve that.
But before I do, I’d like to thank everyone who has subscribed to my channel and the Thriver mission, and if you haven’t yet done so, I’d love you to. And if you like this video please remember to give it a thumbs up.
On to today’s episode!
The Misconceptions About Being A Match
If you were to take law of attraction literally, you may believe that being a match for a narcissist means that you are like a narcissist – meaning conscienceless, pathological and certainly not a nice person.
This is not what makes you susceptible to narcissists at all.
What does make you susceptible to a narcissist is carrying inside you the identical traumas that match what a narcissist will deliver into your life.
The premise, that our greatest unresolved fears will come to pass, is very true.
Quantum truth is as absolute as gravity. Whatever our emotional composition is, in regard to any topic in our life, equals our belief systems about that topic.
Our belief systems are our subconscious programs that are connected to all of the Field, which means all of life.
This means that whatever we believe deep within our inner identity becomes a reality. It plays out to the letter regardless of what we would really like to experience.
Many of our belief systems were formed preverbally. They were taken on from our ancestors in our DNA and from our childhood before we could choose what we wanted to believe. It’s really useful to understand belief systems as this – when a deep emotional experience occurs, a belief is created to match this experience.
This means that when you were a child having an experience of feeling abandoned, unloved, unworthy or invisible, and it was deeply emotionally impactful for you, then your beliefs were formed as painful in relation to the topic of ‘love’ with crucial people in your life.
Can you see now that if you were to have the painful inner beliefs, ‘the people who love me hurt me, leave me, ignore me, discard me, lie to me, or deem me unlovable and unworthy’ that this would be a perfect match for a narcissist to be the exact deliverer of the evidence of these inner painful beliefs?
To rise above being a match for a narcissist means understanding what being ‘a match’ really means and doing the work on yourself at an inner level so that you aren’t.
What and Who You Will Accept Into Your Life
I promise you that what and who you have been accepting into your life represents your inner belief systems on any particular topic.
This is not victim blaming. This is about helping you take your power back to heal the only entity you ever have the power to heal and change, which is yourself.
The problem with the ‘victim blaming’ model, people who believe that any focus on healing ourselves is further abusing us, is that there is no ability to change and heal our own life. If we want to remain a victim (as I once did too) it is impossible to have any centre of influence over other people to change them in order to have a different life experience – thus being victimised and hurt continues.
In my own life and in the thousands of lives that I’ve been deeply involved in with Thriver Recovery over the past 10 years, in every case where people’s lives transformed miraculously from painful interpersonal relationships, to healthy and fulfilling ones, it happened because of this…
They took the radical personal responsibility to change their Inner Being.
I promise you this, when you no longer have the inner belief systems that equal the painful beliefs that have been evident via terrible and horrible interpersonal abuse, you will no longer unconsciously choose and align with or stay with the people who hurt you.
You won’t be chemically attracted to them, and you won’t fall for them feigning to be the saviour of any of your unhealed, susceptible parts, which is exactly what narcissists do.
When a narcissist questions you to try to uncover your insecurities, so as to know how to pretend to fix them, you won’t hand them any. Because you won’t have those parts anymore.
You won’t be needy, reckless or dismiss your Inner Being when it’s sending you warning signs (which it always does) because you are solid, healed up and are self-partnered with your own self-love and self-worth.
I also promise you this, when you are firmly committed to healing and evolving yourself, you understand that you will never accept a level of love that is beneath the level of love that you have for yourself.
I am not saying this to blame or shame you, I’m telling you this to help you take your power back. Because the truth is this – becoming unmatched with narcissists is not some pure fluke, and it’s not something that happens because something in our life has come to save us from them.
It happens because we turn inwards to actualise the greatest mission of our life, which is to heal and evolve ourselves.
When We Are Unmatched We Have No Desire To Play Their Game Anymore
You may wonder why you are so triggered by a narcissist. This is because the narcissist is hitting you in the most painful areas of your emotions, which are your painful belief systems.
They are ripping your old, existing wounds open over and over again.
This is what makes the narcissist’s behaviour so painful, personal, and emotionally impactful.
When you have no matching inner beliefs in regards to the narcissist’s antics (which are the attempts to hook you, control you and hurt you to mine your energy, attention, life-force and resources) you truly will be completely emotionally detached from them.
Here is the complete irony – we think that fighting back and trying to get accountability and justice is the answer to becoming unmatched and free from narcissists. But it isn’t. Narcissistic abuse is a deep spiritual, energetic, soul, inner belief system phenomenon. There is nothing logical about this.
Even if you are only just discovering that you’ve been narcissistically abused, the quickest way for you to access and begin true healing is to understand the truth about this…
Narcissistic abuse is a powerful wake up call to turn us inwards to heal ourselves. Narcissists come into our life as the evidence of our already existing traumas that we haven’t healed yet.
Narcissists can do this because we believe that they are the promise of the love, approval, security and survival that we haven’t yet anchored into solidly and emotionally within ourselves.
This is why there is zero release, solution, emancipation and salvation of your soul and life if you continue to stay focused on trying to combat the narcissist.
This is why if you are determined to hang onto your victimisation, you will remain powerless.
Yet, when we turn inwards something incredible happens. The blame and shame that we once had for ourselves turns into the fascination of self-partnering with our Inner Being. We start to understand the truth of exactly why our life has taken the shape that it has, as well as HOW to change it.
We realise that this actually wasn’t even to do with the narcissist and that this person in our life was only a catalyst, to force us to finally turn inwards to be the saviour of ourselves.
Quantum Law, so within so without, means that our life will unfold to the letter in relation to our inner existing belief systems. No one else can reprogram our inner belief systems for us. It’s our requirement, our job and our biggest personal mission, not just for ourselves but for everyone and everything that we touch as well.
What Are We Really Breaking Free From?
This is the thing, we have always thought that we were trying to get free of toxic people, but what we are really working to get free of is our own limiting painful inner beliefs and then the freedom happens all by itself.
I really hope that this episode has made a lot of sense to you and inspires you to do the deep inner work to become unmatched from narcissists.
Is it finally ‘enough is enough’ for you?
Do you want to stand up and say ‘It’s time to change me!’?
If so, I want you to write that in the comments below.
And I’d love you to come with me so that I can show you exactly how to achieve this. You can get started by clicking this link.
And if you enjoyed this video and would like to see more, please make sure you subscribe to my channel, and please hit the like button if this resonated with you, and share with your communities and friends so that they too can discover the truth regarding how to heal from abuse for real.
As always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.