10 Traits That Narcissists Can’t Stand

10 Traits That Narcissists Can’t Stand

You have probably asked yourself why some people are impervious to narcissists and why you fell in their trap.

What traits do you have that attracted this toxic individual into your life?

What traits do others have that totally repel them?

I’m sure you want answers to these questions – we all do.

In my latest Thriver TV video I’m going to share with you the 10 traits that narcissists can’t stand. This is all about Thriver healing and each of the 10 traits is not just incredible in regard to repelling narcissists, they also empower you in every area of your life.

It’s like having a can of repellent aerosol ready to spray at any narcissist that gets in your way!



Video Transcript

I just want to start off by saying there are only a few days to go before Thrive gets going on the 1st of May, and this is a global community and my most hands-on program ever to help you break through those glass ceilings, the reasons why you’re not recovering or you’re stuck in the trauma, or you just can’t get the motivation to heal.

This is a healing bootcamp that is going to revolutionize and rock your healing. Check it out. The link is with this video. We’ve only got a few spaces left. This is really one of the last chances to get involved. Check out the link with this video, go to the show notes. Show notes or

Today’s video is very, very important. What I’m going to share with you today are the 10 traits that narcissists can’t stand. This is all about Thriver healing, where you need to stand in a place that they can’t stand so that you become a narcissist repellent.

These are exactly the 10 things that make you impervious to narcissists. These 10 powerful traits are not even just incredible in regard to repelling narcissists, they also empower you in every area of your life.

Initially, as we go through these, some of them may surprise you because these are the things in contemporary abuse circles – that people are going to tell you – make you a target for a narcissist. However, the very opposite is true. Once we go through all of this, you are going to understand exactly why.


Number One – Life Fulfillment

The number one trait is life fulfillment. You may believe that a narcissist is going to go after people who have an incredibly fulfilled life, because they’re going to want to try and cash in on that person’s life. But I want you to understand this, narcissists are predators. They pick out the injured gazelle at the edge of a pack just like a lion does.

What does this mean? It means that they’re going to go for somebody who actually feels lonely and unfulfilled in their life. Yes, this person may have stuff and they may be very giving and they’ve got a lot to give and they’ve even achieved a lot in life. But what is usual is this person is somebody who is feeling a little or a lot vulnerable, empty, lonely, and even dare I say, needy.

The narcissist can come forth professing to be all sorts of things that this person has missing in their life so that this person who’s feeling empty is going to create a very fast bond with this person, thinking, “You’ve got the energy I’ve been looking for, or you’ve got the life that I want, or you really see me and you meet me and you’re giving me the love that I’m feeling really hungry for.”

However, if you have a very full and healthy life and you feel fulfilled, then you’re not needy. You’re not going to just rush quickly in a relationship and let somebody into your bed, body, Soul, finances, and life immediately, because you feel fulfilled and full. You can take your time.

As Don Miguel Ruiz stated in this classic beautiful story – I’ve shared it before – I’m going to do it very, very quickly … There’s two women and they’re in their homes. This man, he goes up to the first door and he has this big pizza. This woman is not cooking for herself and she doesn’t have a well-stocked kitchen and she’s hungry.

He comes up with this pizza and she can smell it even before she opens the door to his knock and she’s starving. He says, “I’ll bring you pizza every day, but you have to accept whatever comes with this pizza.” Because she’s so starving, she accepts the offer.

Yet the woman who was in her home, and she’s got a beautiful well-stocked kitchen with delicious, nutritious whole foods and she cooks for herself every day.

This man comes with this greasy pizza that she can smell. He says, “You can have pizza every day and you have to accept whatever comes with it.” She says, “Why would I want that when I have my own source of beautiful, nutritious food?”

Love and our own lives are exactly the same. I want you to think deeply about that story because it tells you everything you need to know about fulfillment in your life.


Number Two ­– Authenticity

Number two is authenticity. If you’re happy with who you are and you’re happy to present yourself as yourself, then you’re really not going to be a match for a false self.

Authenticity is a bright light that repels dark Souls. It’s like a bright light to a vampire. Narcissists don’t love themselves. They’re empty Souls looking to parasite other people’s energy in order to affirm their own existence. They’re not a source of their own energy.

If you are happy to be you, regardless of what anybody else is or isn’t doing, and if you know what’s important is not what other people think of you, it’s what you think of you, then a narcissist is going to be repelled by you. You’re too much of a bright, shiny light.

You’re going to understand more about what true authenticity means as we go through the additional traits in this video.


Number Three – Critical Thinking

Number three is critical thinking. Narcissists hate people who are critical thinkers, let me explain why. A narcissist can easy manipulate and dupe people who don’t question things.

Know this, narcissists are pathological liars. They gaslight. They switch versions on reality back on other people. They exaggerate. They leave facts out. They give you twisted realities. They have to have really good memories to remember the trail of lies that spew out of their mouths.

It becomes very obvious, with any narcissist that you spend any amount of time with that they are lying because certain stories don’t match up. The real life reality that you see outside of their version doesn’t match the versions that they’re purporting. They even contradict themselves regularly because they can’t remember all of their lies.

You truly have to be asleep at the wheel to not notice the irregularities. And to not suspect that this person is not telling the truth. If you don’t blindly accept the information and you’ve got the ability to critically think, and then (we’re going to talk about this down the track in this video, I’ll explain it more) show up questioning things – if you do think and question, that’s a big problem for a narcissist because they can’t dupe you.

I’ve come to think of all of this as what I call, somebody else might call it this too, but I think it’s emotional integrity. I think it’s even more than emotional intelligence.

I think in our world today, to not be taken in by a narcissist, and quite frankly, any psychopath, as a safe, empowered being, having the ability to trust your intuition if it feels off, ask questions, research and investigate – is vital. That’s the first part of it.

The second part of it is then to be open to new information other than the narratives that you’re receiving, because it’s only then that you can make an intelligent, balanced, informed decision by yourself. Know this, the people that are usually smearing the most are usually the source of the lies. I’ll tell you that.

Narcissists hate critical thinkers and they are completely repelled by them. It will make you impervious to them if you’ve got emotional integrity, because they will cease to have power over you.


Number Four – Due Diligence

Number four trait that a narcissist really can’t stand is your due diligence. Narcissists don’t like people who take time to make a decision about entering into a deal, whether it be business or a relationship.

Narcissists are empty beings constantly needing to secure narcissistic supply. Because if you’re targeted by one of them, they need to ensnare you quickly so that the feed of narcissistic supply balances the output of energy required to get the narcissistic supply.

Think of the lion going after the gazelle and needs a feed. They need to get their prey quickly so that the energy expended is not greater than the food supply gained and how long it takes to get it. Narcissists don’t have energy of their own. That’s why the payoff needs to come quickly.

If you date respectfully and you retain your own life and you have other dates whilst ascertaining potential suitors (yes, plural) their character and behavior to make your final choice, over time, a narcissist will not hang around for that because the payoff is not instant enough.

If you’re in a business and a narcissist wants to join forces with you and you do background checks and the necessary due diligence to investigate the suitability of this person, again, the narcissist will flee because he or she will know that you’re not an easy target.

Being a mature adult doing the necessary due diligence is going to save you the heartache and devastation of a narcissist every time. They are sprinters, they’re not stayers. They are also terrified about what you’re just going to discover about them. If you scratch under the surface and do your investigation and your due diligence, you will discover what’s under the surface.


Number Five – Self-Partnering

The number five trait that narcissists don’t like and they can’t stand it – is you being self-partnered. If you’re in your body knowing your values and truth, then you are much less likely to be thrown, disarmed or manipulated by narcissistic behavior.

When you’re self-embodied, you trust and listen to your own feelings. You are aligned with yourself. If something feels off, then you ask questions and you clarify things. Narcissists test boundaries with people all the time to see what they can and can’t get away with. They want to know where your line is and they know how to work out what makes somebody tick.

If somebody is anchored in their body, honoring themselves, narcissists know they’re not an easy target. It takes too much effort and they’re going to move on.

Your self-embodiment, your self-partnering means backing yourself, which takes us to the next point which is about boundaries.


Number Six – Boundaries

Number six is boundaries. Boundaries and the ability to speak up and say – no, I’m not comfortable with that – is a boundary.

Boundaries are knowing where you stop when somebody else stops. It’s a knowing of how to let the good in and keep the bad out. Boundaries mean that you’re willing to ask questions and have difficult conversations and take time to assess people in situations before jumping in blindly.

Boundaries are the ability to assert your values and your truth regardless of what anybody else is or isn’t doing. You’ve developed and healed beyond the point of worrying about somebody criticizing, rejecting, abandoning, and punishing you, which I call the fears of CRAP, C-R-A-P, for you speaking up.

If people do start twisting and turning and criticizing, rejecting, abandoning, and punishing you for you being your values and truth, then this person is absolutely not a match for you. You’ve got your answer.

Narcissists are repelled by people who have boundaries. Let’s get very clear about this, boundaries don’t mean that somebody else has to agree with you and join in on your boundary. It’s not like a narcissist is going to say to you, “Yeah, I get that and I’m going to respect your boundary.”

No, rather they’re going to disrespect your boundary and they’re going to try and talk you out of it, shame and blame and guilt you out of it, twist it and turn it, put it back on you. You’ve got your answer.

Move on. This is not somebody that you can have any form of relationship with if they can’t respect you. People can only violate your boundaries if you stay connected with them.


Number Seven ­– Calmness

Number seven, this is a powerful trait but not always easy to do – calmness.

Narcissists will get you to hand your power away when you are not able to be in your body and your truth. When you’re triggered and you’re in adrenaline and cortisol, then your frontal lobe is shut down. You don’t have access to wisdom and solution, and rather you’re in survival programs, which means that you’re in the very primitive part of your brain which is the amygdala – where you’re in fight, flee or freeze.

Narcissists are experts at taking you over and taking you down while you’re in these states. If you’ve done the inner work to meet the traumas that are generating your triggers and you’ve released them and up-leveled them, reprogrammed them – and I can’t recommend Quanta Freedom Healing enough in order to do this. We’re going to be covering all of these in huge detail in Thrive, as well as doing the healings on this for you – well, that means that you are not going to have those triggers to hit within you, which are your previous unhealed, unconscious inner wounds that were being activated by the narcissistic behavior.

Rather, where that trigger once was is a calm knowing of your values and your truth regardless of the shenanigans. You can show up in your power, in calm power with boundaries, in your values, in your truths.

This makes the narcissist run for the hills. When he or she knows that they can no longer get you on your wounds and trigger you and fire you off and get you to hand over power, it really is game over for them.


Number Eight – Transparency

The number eight trait that narcissists can’t stand is transparency. Narcissists love to operate in the shadows like vampires in the dark and behind the scenes, that’s where they do their best work. This is where they can target somebody’s wounds, draw them in, extract supply, and diminish someone in order to gain control over them.

However, when you’ve healed beyond your own shame and pain and your fears of authority, and maybe when you emerge from all of that and you become a truth seeker living in the light, you have the ability to bring out the narcissistic behavior calmly and clearly in front of an audience.

This is very effective in a group setting with other people, whether it be a work setting, a family, a court case or a group of people that you’re involved in with the narcissist.

As long as you are calm, untriggered, and factual. This is not about saying this person is a narcissist. Don’t label them. Just expose the behavior. Narcissists like vampires, when exposed in the full brunt of light scream and then shrivel up.

When you do this, I promise you, this is usually when a narcissist will unravel and be completely exposed. Then they’ve got to run. They’ve got to get out of the group. They’ve got to get out of the business. They’ve got to get out of your life. They just can’t stand it.


Number Nine – Demanding Disclosure

Number nine trait that a narcissist can’t stand is you demanding disclosure. The ultimate boundary with a narcissist is the demanding of the facts. No proof, no truth, no deal. Please know this, if somebody has nothing to hide and values a true relationship with you, of course, they’re going to present the facts.

Whether it be regarding cheating, other infidelities, or financial irregularities, or criminal behavior, whatever it is, which all of which narcissists are famous for – you demanding that the narcissist supplies proof of their versions of things will bring about twists, turns, lies, evidence that can’t be substantiated, or downright refusal to provide the evidence.

Absolutely, if you have a good reason to suspect, ask for proof. Demand it. Value yourself enough to do it. Follow up with checking up on the sources that are offered, and don’t be embarrassed to do so. You’re after the truth. If you get twists and turns and you’re not humbly met with honesty, then you have your answer.

You don’t need the proof of the crime to end a relationship with people. Avoidance behavior is all the proof you need. Because please know, good people simply do not behave like this.


Number Ten – Self-Love

The number 10 trait that a narcissist can’t stand, and this is the biggest and the best of all of them is self-love.

The ultimate deterrent to a narcissist is you being self-partnered, in your body, taking responsibility for your own emotional resonance. This means that you are deeply involved in your own personal partnering and self-development.

You love yourself enough to commit to yourself to create an incredible life for yourself from the inside out. You are the master of your own inner emotional domain. This means, and rightly so, that you are loving and self-partnered to yourself more than any other person in the world. Because you know all of your relationships, which is relationship with self, life and others comes from self and your relationship with your highest source, which is true source. This means that you are no longer looking for somebody else to grant you what you’re not willing to give yourself.

Your kitchen is full. You make yourself nutritious meals. You don’t need somebody else who is offering you crap to provide you with toxic sustenance and try to make crumbs out of cookies. All of that is gone.

You love yourself enough to only accept a level of love in your life that compliments the love that you now have for yourself. Anything else detracts from your life and you don’t need it or want it. That is your ultimate inoculation and repellent against a narcissist.


In Conclusion

I really hope that this has been insightful for you today. Please know this, because it’s a lie and it’s not the truth – you are not meant to dim your light in order to be safe from a narcissist. Other abuse forums and stuff will say, if you’re a bright light and you’re amazing, narcissists will target you. That is rubbish. Throw that belief out.

In stark contrast, you are here to turn your light up even brighter than you ever have before. You need to step into the full skin and soul of who you are meant to be, as a true self with true source, a narcissist cannot touch you. Feel it in every cell of your body because it’s the truth.

This is exactly what Thriving is about. When you take on that orientation and that development to fully free yourself to be yourself, never again are you going to need to worry about who was the narcissist and where the next one might be lurking or what they’re doing, because you were just free to fully be your own authentic self.

If this is the life of freedom that you truly want, then I cannot recommend enough for you to check out this intensive healing boot camp that’s coming up in a couple of days. This is pretty much the last chance to get involved.

I can’t wait because we are going to help you get there, with all the ways that I got there and tens of thousands of people from all over the world have got there. I’m going to be working personally with you live for 10 weeks with your own coaches, which is me and the incredible Thriver team, plus, your global Thriver tribe, the most incredible people you’ll ever meet.

I’d love you to check out and come on this incredible journey with me. Check out Thrive at or click the link that appears or go to the show notes.

I want you to let me know in the comments below whether or not this Thriver TV episode resonated with you. Are you on the journey of becoming narcissist proof? Is this what you want to achieve? I’m really looking forward to the conversation that we have about this.



How A Narcissist’s Mind Operates During A Crisis (Watch For The Hoover!)

How A Narcissist’s Mind Operates During A Crisis (Watch For The Hoover!)


My heart goes out to all of you who are dealing with a narcissist during this pandemic, and that’s why I passionately wanted to reach out to you with this topic today!

Narcissists need a regular hit of narcissistic supply, so what happens when the narcissist can’t go about narcissistic business as usual because of uncontrollable events?

In this episode, I explain to you how self-isolation and job loss can impact their minds and affect co-parenting. Plus, how to protect yourself from nasty hoovering tactics that can impact you and your children.



Video Transcript

I’m not sure whether you realise by now that most of a narcissist’s energy is focused on how to get narcissistic supply.

So, what happens when the narcissist can’t go about narcissistic business as usual because of uncontrollable events?

Such things as a global crisis for example?

Sadly, many of you are experiencing exactly what happens in times like these.

Which is what I’m going to talk about in today’s Thriver TV episode.

But, before I get started, I’d like to thank all of you who are supporting the Thriver Mission and the real truth that we can heal for real from narcissistic abuse, as a result of subscribing to my channel.

And, I’d like to remind you that if you haven’t yet subscribed, please do so that you can help spread the word.

Alright, so let’s get going on today’s episode.


The Inner Gnawing Trauma

There are some people who find it difficult to spend time alone without distractions. This is always for the same reason, because of the difficulty to find peace with one’s Inner Being.

Narcissists take this discomfort to an extreme. The reason why is because their inner True Self has been discarded by the narcissist. They believe that this Inner Identity is not sufficient to cope in life. This is why there has been the construction and activation of a False Self in its place.

This False Self is always hungry. The narcissist needs the regular hit of narcissistic supply – which means the attention (good or bad it makes no difference) from outside forces to be able to bolster the narcissist’s feelings of personal significance.

The problem is this is a never-ending requirement. Because there is no True Self at the helm, the narcissist is snapped off from being able to source his or her good feelings directly through Life-Force/Source /Consciousness, in other words, his or her Higher Self.

Therefore, real and lasting feelings of peace, wholeness and well-being are impossible.

Because of this, the narcissist’s inner self-annihilating critic is always threatening to emerge, with the feedback that reminds the narcissist just how inadequate, broken, defective and unacceptable he or she is.

Narcissistic supply is the drug that the narcissist frenetically hunts and feeds on to numb out and escape the truth about him or herself. This is a relentless lifetime pursuit for a narcissist.

As we are about to examine, this situation with COVID-19 makes the obtaining of narcissistic supply extremely difficult.


What Self-Isolation Means to a Narcissist

Being unable to be out in the world garnishing narcissistic supply is a narcissist’s worst nightmare.

In lockdown, not only is narcissistic supply harder to come by, it also means that the narcissist is being “told what to do”.

Narcissists hate being pinned down. They hate having to follow rules and regulations, in a way that goes way over and above the normal feelings that self-isolation might bring up for people.

Narcissists believe that they are a law unto themselves, above reproach, and not answerable to anybody. To go along with the requirements for the rest of the world means that they would become just like everybody else.

This is unthinkable for a narcissist.

So, what does this time of COVID-19 amount to for a narcissist?

This …

A narcissist being HORRIBLE. He or she will be suffering horrific narcissistic injuries and narcissistic supply withdrawals constantly.

What does this mean for you?

It means that the narcissist is likely to lash out, in nasty or manipulative ways that are focused on one of two possible agendas – securing much-needed narcissistic supply, or/and spewing the viciousness of their inner-annihilating wounds all over you.

Some of you may have thought, now that this person can’t just run off and do whatever they want to do, that this would bring you closer. However, I can assure you that self-isolation with a narcissist is certainly not the “togetherness” or “team-work” that you would hope.


If You Are Co-parenting with a Narcissist

During this time of coronavirus, many of you have reported extremely frustrating struggles with the narcissist.

Of course, you are feeling triggered about whether this person is self-isolating or doing the right thing by your child.

The answer is, they probably aren’t.

This is where you need to go back to the absolute truth of how to deal with a narcissist.

The more that you try to get the narcissist to do the right thing, the more the narcissist will do the wrong thing – simply because it extracts so much narcissistic supply (attention) from you.

You know I say the same thing always, and currently, it is more important than ever – I can’t recommend enough that you detach, keep releasing the trauma that you’re feeling that is being activated within you and do everything in your power to be a whole, safe and healthy parent when you have your child with you.

This is only possible when you can release those feelings of being so disturbed and triggered. Additionally, what you will find is that the narcissist will desist from a lot of the behaviour and ways that he or she has been hurting you and your child when they receive zero narcissistic supply from you.

That’s the thing about narcissists, the energy expended to get narcissistic supply means that there must be a payoff to continue it. If there isn’t a payoff, then the narcissist will focus on getting narcissistic supply from somewhere else.

As many of you have discovered, my NARP Program is a powerful and effective way to reach this level of detachment.


A Time of Intense Hoovering

Absolutely, narcissists stuck with being with themselves, without the drama, distractions and frenetic energy of the world, are very low on narcissistic supply.

However, we know with technology being what it is, they are very capable of reaching out to people, past and present, to try to hook them up for an energetic feed again.

It’s so important, that if you are done with a narcissist and are focused on your own healing, that you block him or her. Don’t allow a hoover to get through to you.

If any communication is necessary, such as in the case of a property settlement or joint custody, then set up third party contact such as through a solicitor, or the wonderful Parallel Parenting tool Our Family Wizard.

These steps allow you to have strong boundaries around yourself, soul and life. Which means, “I am no longer available as your snack when you are in need of a feed!”

Being hoovered by a narcissist is no compliment!

To the narcissist you are a mere object, there to give the terribly insecure ego a hit to help grant the narcissist significance.  This comes at a terrible price to you. Because you are being used, there is no genuine care for you, remorse for what happened, or intention to grant you healthy or happy behaviour in the future.

You are only necessary to them so that they can siphon you out for their False Self’s energy needs, and then when that is done you are just as likely to be discarded and thrown in the gutter as you were last time.

It’s so important to understand this so that you don’t go there.


If the Narcissist Lost Their Job

It is likely you will be blamed, or the narcissist will play on your heartstrings to get you to financially support them. Or just simply guilt you or demand that you do.

Or, the narcissist will jump ship onto a better deal that will provide what the narcissist needs to buffer up their False Self again.

It is not likely that you will be dealing with a stable, calm, resourceful, adaptable person who takes personal responsibility for their life.


Shoring Yourself Up Against a Narcissist in Crisis

My heart goes out to all of you who are dealing with a narcissist during this pandemic. I know that the suffering that you are going through is indescribable.

But yet, this is a huge opportunity to up-level, even as hard as it may seem to do so.

It’s so true, in times of calamity, that we have the grist and impetus to go for our greatest growth. Because we need to!

I know that there are many of you in this amazing community who have really knuckled down into your deep inner work and are emerging stronger and stronger against narcissists as a result of this.

In many cases, this is despite everything that the narcissist is trying to throw at you.

I am so proud of you!

For those of you who don’t yet know how this is possible, and can’t even imagine getting there, I promise you with all my heart that it is possible and you can achieve this.

And, I am completely dedicated to helping you achieve this.

To help you do this, I am opening up another Free Masterclass, which I know is really needed at this time.

It is on April 29th. In this special event, I share with you real processes to get relief, take your power back and break the binds from any narcissist in your life, regardless of how much they’ve hurt or damaged you.

Even despite the predicament that you may be in right now.

Please know that if you can’t make this event live, you will receive a recording as a result of signing up, which you can watch and listen to at a time that suits you, in the comfort of your own home.

Again, this event is completely free, and I know how much it can help you.

I can’t wait to join you in it.

And as always, I look forward to answering your comments and your questions below.



Why Narcissists Need To Suck The Goodness Out Of You

Why Narcissists Need To Suck The Goodness Out Of You


It may make no sense that a narcissist needs to suck all the goodness out of you.

What is the point in destroying someone until they barely exist?

Why do narcissists pursue connections with people so fanatically, only to empty them out and throw them aside?

It’s completely illogical until you understand EXACTLY why!



Video Transcript


Many people wonder why narcissists act the way they do.

You may be distraught regarding the way the narcissist behaves, having zero consideration for your well-being.

Why do narcissists do this? Why does a narcissist have to suck you dry of your love, good nature, health, resources and even your very soul?

What is the point of being in a relationship with somebody, only to empty them out, and then throw their corpse into the gutter?

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I explain to you exactly why narcissists do this.

But before we get started, I’d like to thank you for subscribing to my channel and for supporting the Thriver mission. Also, if you haven’t yet subscribed, I’d love to remind you to please do and share this video so that you can help people globally know that it is now possible to heal for real from abuse.

Okay so let’s get started with today’s episode.


The Vampire Myth

The vampire myth bears such a strong resemblance to narcissism. Many believe that the myth was modelled on narcissism.

Vampires are the walking dead. They were purported to be lifeless souls sucking the blood (Life Force) out of humans in order to survive.

Narcissists are eerily similar. They feel dead on the inside, and it’s not until they get the feedback of somebody else’s energy (narcissistic supply) that they can feel alive.

Just like vampires without blood, narcissists without attention can’t exist. They don’t function.

Vampires had to hunt humans in order to exist.

Similarly, narcissists hunt other people’s energy in order to exist. They are as much hardened addicts, as any drug addict is, and also as much as vampires purportedly were.

Narcissists don’t just stop at attention; anything that feeds the insatiable ego (a bottomless deep black hole that can’t be filled) is fair game. This means commodities like sex, money, resources, and anything that is for the taking, including people’s time, health, years and emotions.

When you stay connected to a narcissist whilst trying to get them to change and behave like a normal, sensible, non-vampirish person, you are available as a source to be sucked dry.

Staying with a narcissist doesn’t earn you love, approval, security or survival. Rather, it smashes all of these things to pieces, emptying us out to our very demise.


A Narcissist Can’t Retain Their Own Energy

There is another phenomenon that explains why narcissists suck people dry.

I want you to think of a black hole. This is anti-gravity. Things disappear into this black hole never to be seen again.

The vacuum source of a black hole is so intense that it will gobble up complete celestial bodies into itself.

The black hole is empty, it’s nothing, yet it has an insatiable appetite that can never be appeased.

No matter how much it consumes, it stays black, it stays as “nothing”.

Narcissists are the same. Because their ego cannot be appeased, any external hit of significance only offers temporary self-solidness and peace, which doesn’t hold.

The narcissist is always chasing attention, stuff and other people’s resources and energy to try to fill their inner black hole that can never be satisfied. Sooner, rather than later, the narcissist is back to craving more to try to offset the horrific feeling of living with an internal black hole that is an emotionally annihilating self-prophecy.

Now let’s take this understanding even further.


The Narcissist Is A False Self

The narcissist does not have an active True Self core. The narcissist as an incredibly damaged and insecure individual has decided that his or her True Self is inadequate, and has assigned a fictitious character (a False Self) to be at the helm.

The False Self is a fragile construct. The ego is not solid, confident, or organically experiencing feelings of peace and wholeness. The False Self is not connected to one’s Superconscious/Creation/Source/God (a Higher Power).

Therefore, the False Self is out on the edge of survival all on its own. The narcissist has never faced the inner traumas that have caused such a grave disconnection from his or her True Self and All of Life.

As an empty entity continually in the trauma of separation from Creation Itself, the narcissist is alone, hungry and desolate. He or she needs copious amounts of stuff, acclaim and significance in order to try to feel remotely okay.

It’s a full-time fruitless job to feed a bottomless False Self.

In stark contrast, those of us who did turn inwards to self-partner with our True Self (no matter how damaged) and did the diligent inner work to heal our Inner Beings from trauma and false programming up to wholeness, have discovered the relief of being connected to ourselves and Life healthily.

Narcissists, sadly, don’t ever get to experience this Oneness.

When you move into the light of your healing, you come out of the danger space of narcissists. Think when a bright light is shone on a vampire, they recoil back into the shadows.

Without your pain and fear, a narcissist cannot exist under your bright light.

If you get this, I want you to pause this video and declare below, “I am claiming my light, that dissolves away your darkness NOW”.


Our Lesson In All of This

I wrote an article a while ago about how codependents and narcissists are two sides of the same coin.

The link to this article is here.

We may believe that opposites attract. On the surface this looks very true, that narcissists who are takers like to get with people who are givers.

For sure this is real. However, there is a deeper truth to this regarding the bonding together of co-dependent people and narcissists.

If we are suffering disconnection from our Inner Beings and carrying trauma and trying to get our outer lives to take the inner trauma away, rather than being self-partnered and doing our inner work, then we are susceptible to narcissists.

Which means WE need to heal.

This is where I come in. I can help you get free from inner emptiness and pain, just as I did, and no longer be susceptible to narcissists latching on to you and sucking you dry.

To start this path with me all you need to do is click this link. 

So, I hope that this episode has really helped, and please remember to subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new Thriver TV episode is released. I publish two each week. And if you liked this, click on the like and share buttons!

And as always, I look forward to responding to your questions and your comments below.



Why Are Narcissists So Damn Entitled?

Why Are Narcissists So Damn Entitled?

It can be a shock when you realise just how entitled narcissists are. Of course, there are people who have healthy self-interest and know how to get their needs met.

Narcissists, however, are not displaying healthy deservedness. Rather they are a model of obscene self-entitlement, causing great pain, destruction and devastation to others.

Why do narcissists act in this way? Why are narcissists totally oblivious to anybody else’s emotions, needs, values or rights?

Discover the answers to these questions and the signs to look out for in this video.


Video Transcript

I know that many of you in this community are nice and humble people.

Maybe you are totally happy for other people to take the limelight.

Maybe, you have even secretly admired people who seem to be confident and are able to get their needs met.

Yet, what seems to be confidence and healthy deservedness, takes a sinister turn when we start experiencing just how entitled narcissists are.

That’s what I want to talk about today, exactly why narcissists are as entitled as they are, and how this behaviour manifests, as well as how it affects you.

But before we get into this conversation, I’d like to thank you for subscribing to my channel and supporting the Thriver Mission.

It’s so important that more people understand that there is a way to heal for real from abuse and your participation helps make that happen, so please make sure that if you haven’t yet subscribed that you do.

Also, please like and share my videos so that together we can help spread this message.

Alright, so let’s start peeling this topic back so that you can understand why narcissists are so entitled!


I Deserve It!

Narcissists believe that other people should grant them what they want and that they are entitled to have specific and special treatment.

One of the earliest warning signs that you may discover about this is how in a group or a social setting the narcissist expects to be the centre of attention, and if someone else is receiving energy from people, that the narcissist will appear uncomfortable, anxious and even angry.

He or she may discredit this person later and will usually attack you if you were impressed with this person or granted them energy at the time.

Narcissistic supply needs to be regulated so closely and ferociously, that if somebody else is taking energy then the narcissist perceives this person as a threat. If this person continues to obtain what the narcissist believes is his or her share of supply, then the narcissist will desire to eliminate the threat.

Now let’s look at how a narcissist treats you in relation to entitlement.

A narcissist believes that he or she is entitled to all the goodies that you can provide.

What this means is: “You will do what I want you to do. You must grant me your energy, attention, resources, contacts and money when I ask for them and want them.”

The narcissist will also expect the following: “You are supposed to grant me what I want even when I’m not asking for it. You are supposed to just serve me unwaveringly.”

Narcissistic entitlement is certainly not about “healthy deservedness.”

Those who feel that they healthily deserve are whole and solid on the inside already. They are not suffering from the emptiness, neediness and desperation that leads to the non-holistic, non-ecological system of wanting attention and stuff.

Narcissists are in dire lack on the inside. They feel empty. They don’t feel they deserve the good stuff simply for being themselves, because there is no real self on the inside. The narcissist divorced their Inner Being believing that it was ineffectual, inadequate and unacceptable.

As a result of living through the persona of a fictitious False Self, the narcissist must lie, manipulate, intimidate, charm or steal to get their share of the goodies.

The real truth to all of this is that it doesn’t matter what a narcissist gains, the temporary relief is short-lived. Sooner rather than later, the narcissist is back to feeling the inner empty gnawing of his or her internal self-critic, which is a wasteland of a crippled and disowned True Self.

This is why the narcissist is always trying to get or gain something to try to self-medicate away these feelings.


How Narcissists Get Away With It

It is unlikely that the narcissist initially acted entitled, because you may never have teamed up with him or her if this happened. Rather, the narcissist may have appeared to be incredibly giving, caring and generous.

After a narcissist has secured you as a source of narcissistic supply, they are incredibly skilled at testing your boundaries bit by bit. He or she may make a request seeing if you will go along with it, or not. If you do speak up, he or she may say that they were joking, or didn’t mean it, and wait for another opportunity to see if they can push your boundary and get through it.

For many of us, this wasn’t too hard to do.

Maybe we were brought up in families where our boundaries were broken down from the time we were very young.

We were used to saying “yes” and going along in order not to risk the feelings of C. R. A. P. – criticism, rejection, abandonment and punishment, and we were used to handing our power away to people to try to keep them happy enough to love and care for us.

Therefore, in our adult relationships it can be very familiar to try to keep the peace, at the cost of our rights, values and needs.

If the narcissist in your life is a family member, then it is likely that this has always been your “normal”. You are used to acquiescing to the people who you want to love you because it’s all you’ve ever known.

Yet, familiar or not, it is intensely painful being with a person who is in it all for themselves, and completely and utterly capable of taking all that they can at your expense, as well as your Life Force and Soul.

Of course, there have been times where you have tried to say “no” and received the horrific reactions that narcissists are prone to when their False Self isn’t adequately appeased.

Disagreeing with the narcissistic version of life which is total entitlement to your agreement without question, can send the narcissist into a spin where he or she lashes out in cruel and conscienceless ways.

The narcissist may have asked for money or something else that completely goes against your grain, yet the fear of the repercussions, or the losing of this person, because he or she has threatened abandonment if you don’t comply, has made you hand over many parts of yourself to your detriment.

Possibly, the narcissist feels entitled to control you and own you. He or she may be accusing you of all sorts of terrible things that they purport are disloyal to him or her. He or she may even feel entitled to your passwords, putting tracking devices on your car or phone, or demanding that you give a full report every day of who you spoke to and spent time with.

He or she may even convince you that if you love them and care about them that you will comply with these demands.

Until you know that this sort of pathological jealousy is not ever acceptable, or something that can be appeased, reasoned with or healed in a narcissist, you may hang on trying to do just that.

Quite possibly, the narcissist is practicing exactly these acts of infidelity and affairs themself, which commonly narcissists feel entitled to indulge in, and yet lying to you or purporting to give it up and do the right thing.

Maybe he or she is even feigning remorse, or twisting things around blaming you for it all, and now you are trying to get the narcissist to see how insane this is. Or maybe you are taking responsibility for the narcissist’s betrayals.

All of these things will allow the narcissist to continue doing what he or she is doing, possibly whilst you are believing this behaviour can stop.


The Signs That You Are With An Entitled Narcissist

The following are signs that you are being abused by an entitled person:

  • You start to feel guilty, wrong or criticised for having your own needs and interests.
  • You get less and less support from this person.
  • You feel like you are walking on broken glass and that what you do is never good enough.
  • If you ask for anything from this person, they become aggravated, angry or anxious and/or won’t deliver these promises or do things for you in a timely or proper manner.
  • Anything this person does do for you is held against you as an example or a punishment regarding what you don’t do for them.
  • Your energy, health, resources and Life Force are diminishing.
  • Your needs are invalidated and unmet.
  • You are supposed to hear out and understand everything about how this person isn’t happy yet are totally unable to voice your own concerns.
  • If this person is having a bad day, they make sure that your day is equally as bad or even worse.
  • You are accused of all the things that the narcissist’s entitlement causes him or her to do.


The Devastation of Entitlement

Narcissistic entitlement is only the beginning of the pathological issues that are happening here.

It’s devastating that incredibly malicious and even criminal acts of entitlement can be twisted around, and that you are the one smeared and discredited with them.

Narcissistic double standards are another part of the narcissist’s entitlement.

Such as I can be late or unreliable but how dare anyone else treat me like that.

Or, I can talk to you however I feel, but don’t you dare talk to me like that.

One of the most perverse and dangerous aspects of narcissism is that he or she will feel entitled to hurt you if the fragile ego is not served by you adequately. As far as the narcissist’s disordered thinking goes, if you did not do the right thing by them, then you must suffer. Revenge is a very common by-product of narcissistic abuse.

This bends people’s non-narcissistic brains – until they realise that there is not a real, rational person inside the narcissist doing this stuff.

So, this I can’t recommend enough, if you are painfully being emptied out by a narcissist’s entitlement – let go, turn inwards and heal up those parts of you that have been familiar with this, and/or are unconsciously susceptible to this.

Then I promise you that you will go free into healthy equal relationships of true mutuality and respect as well as genuine love.

That’s exactly what I did, I healed my stuff with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP), which so many people in this Community have also done.

If you are at the stage where you want to directly and deeply reprogram your subconscious and heal from narcissistic relationships for real, NARP is a proven and powerful way to achieve this.

You can check out this revolutionary program by clicking this link.

Okay, I really hope that this video has helped, and please remember to give it a like if it spoke to you.

And, please make sure that you have subscribed to my channel to receive notifications of all of my new episodes. I release two new ones every week.

And, as always, I look forward to your comments and your questions below.



The Many Faces Of Narcissists – What They Really Mean

The Many Faces Of Narcissists – What They Really Mean


Why is narcissistic behaviour so up and down?

How can a narcissist appear to be so considerate and caring one moment, and incredibly childish, abusive and unreasonable the next?

Is this the same person? Why does a narcissist spin on a dime?

In today’s Thriver TV episode I explain to you the many faces of a narcissist and what it really means.

If you have felt bamboozled and distraught as a result of the dire mood and behaviour swings of the narcissist, then this episode is a must watch one for you.



Video Transcript

Narcissists can be so incredibly confusing.

People have called them Jekyll and Hydes.

People have referred to them as Street Angel/Home Devils.

It is likely that you have experienced times where the narcissist is a pure delight, and then without warning switch and be your most terrible nightmare.

There is even more complexity to the many faces of the narcissist, which I am going to be talking to you about in today’s TTV episode.

However, before I do, I’d like to thank you for subscribing to my channel and supporting the Thriver mission. Please know how deeply grateful I am for your belief in my work.

If you haven’t yet subscribed, I’d love to invite you to please do so, and also remember to give this episode a thumbs up if it resonates with you.


Grandiosity Versus Insecurity

Narcissists appear to be powerful, confident and capable.

Yet, it’s very important to understand that people who are solid and healthy on the inside and do believe in their own self and capacity, don’t need to grandstand or publicise themselves.

Narcissists self-promote, a lot. A narcissist commonly will interject into conversations with what he or she has or hasn’t done, and thinks or believes, as if he or she is the authority on all topics.

If a narcissist can’t assert their authority, or bring the attention back to themselves, he or she will usually change the subject, exit the scene or create some form of diversion or drama.

People with healthy self-esteem who don’t suffer the dire insecurities that narcissists do, are comfortable to allow others to shine or know more than themselves, and can ask questions and be genuinely interested.

Narcissists, however, need to have centre stage complete with people seemingly being mesmerised by the narcissist’s accomplishments, brilliance and talents.

He or she will be deflated, sullen and moody if this is not the case, or even downright nasty, such as discrediting anybody who stole the attention that he or she so desperately needs in order to try to feel “normal”.


Care and Consideration Versus Cruelty and Condemnation

A narcissist can be so “lovely”. He or she can appear to be helpful, generous and totally concerned for your well-being.

But there is a more sordid truth to this.

This behaviour is not consistent. In fact, you will start to understand that this person can suddenly become accusatory, paranoid, childishly nasty, and even maliciously cruel.

What is so disturbing is that this ugly shift can emerge very quickly, and without any real provocation.

This is for a variety of reasons. The narcissist is often “giving” for an agenda to get something. Then, when the narcissist doesn’t get the payoff because of the conditional acts of “care” that were extended to you, the narcissist is likely to unravel into a narcissistic rage.

Or, the narcissist is suffering another bout of his or her inner demons arising and starts blaming you for this self-annihilating emotional state.

Because the narcissist is so disconnected from consciousness, which requires taking personal responsibility for his or her emotional traumas, naturally this will always be somebody else’s fault.

If you are being abused by a narcissist, then you are one of, if not the narcissist’s favourite target.


Sincerity Versus Pathological Lying

Narcissists have an uncanny ability to look you straight in the eyes and appear to be 100% empathetic and sincere. He or she additionally can mirror back to you the body language and postures that make you feel deeply understood.

Yet, you are stunned to discover that the words held no weight whatsoever.

The horrific truth is that the narcissist can say anything and everything that is required in the moment to fulfil an agenda.

This can happen when love bombing you at the start of a relationship in order to secure you as narcissistic supply, or grooming you after you are hooked as supply so that you hand over your energy, sexuality, money or resources. Or, it is used when hoovering you back into the relationship when you are threatening to leave.

So many have discovered that despite the claims of monogamy, loyalty and undying love that he or she can turn and commit obscene betrayals that make your head spin.

Literally tearing your life to pieces.

It’s so important to understand that words mean nothing. It’s the actions and real-life applications that define an individual, regardless of how apparently sincere they are.

I really want you to understand this, and even make note of it.

If you’re ready to take your power back on this point, I want you to pause this video and write below, “I understand that it’s a person’s actions and not their words that define their character!”


Altruism Versus Seeking Supply

There are many narcissists who are community minded, granting apparent service, time and altruism to others.

This can be extremely confusing when ascertaining somebody’s character and thinking, “He or she is so spiritual/kind to animals/caring for the elderly/community minded/donating time and effort so tirelessly to others …” And the list goes on and on.

This is often the narcissist who is the “Street Angel/Home devil”.

The public persona of this person is amazing and he/she represents themselves as a pillar of society. Yet, when this person is at home, they rip to shreds their nearest and dearest when no one else is around to see it.

And what is so devastating for the people connected to the altruistic narcissist, is that he or she will do very little to contribute or care for them. There is minimal supply to be gained from close intimates who are not going to bow and scrape and tell the narcissist how wonderful they are every minute of every day.

This person appears to be such a lovely person to those who do not have to share a full-time life with them, because there is a great deal of narcissistic supply (attention and acclaim) to receive as a result of going over and above the call of duty with non-intimates.

Yet, often the cracks appear. When others don’t appease the narcissist’s fragile ego with enough recognition, or do something that the narcissist deems as not adequate to appease their ego, then the narcissist is just as likely to smear this person, discredit them or wipe them completely out of their life without notice.

This is the reason why so many narcissists have transient relationships that just don’t last, and frequently new people can be idolised and become the next best friend, colleague or associate.


Brokenness Versus Impenetrable Defences

There may be times when you have met the inner broken child of a narcissist. This is when he or she appears vulnerable and even remorseful and self-aware of his or her inner demons.

Your heart goes out to this person and you may feel protective, and that you really do love him or her and will do anything to help them survive themselves, heal and evolve into somebody functional, decent and happy.

Yet, it can be extremely difficult to gauge whether these bouts are real or not. Moody narcissists are incredibly capable of feigning such episodes to pull you back in through your heartstrings, to get you to lower your boundaries and rights again.

If this is genuine, it’s likely to be when the narcissist has suffered a massive narcissistic injury and the ego is unable to uphold itself, momentarily exposing the terrified, broken child inside that the narcissist really is.

The big problem is, as soon as the narcissist gets enough narcissistic supply from outside of him or herself to prop the ego back up again, then the formidable, impenetrable defences are back in business.

A narcissist will “bite their nose off despite their face”. A narcissist would rather be right than happy. A narcissist would rather maintain their False Self, which means taking zero personal responsibility and being completely absorbed with their own veneer, than anything or anybody else in their life.

Of course, this is disastrous for relationships and for any true trust, communion or connections to be possible.


How Can You Escape the Madness?

Okay, so I hope that this episode has helped to explain to you some of the many complex dichotomies of a narcissist.

These different narcissistic faces are black-and-white. The narcissist is an “all or nothing” character who swings from one extreme to the other.

And these opposing behaviours are virtually consistent with all narcissists, regardless of who the narcissist is in your life.

Identically, your relief and true recovery process from narcissistic and toxic people, is the same, regardless of who the narcissist is in your life.

I would love to connect you with my powerful recovery resources which will ensure that you get the right information, clarity and true healing solutions that you need. You can access these by clicking this link. 

If the video resonated with you, I would love for you to leave a comment below. And as always, I love answering any questions that you write into me.



How Do Narcissists Treat Their New Supply?

How Do Narcissists Treat Their New Supply?



When a narcissist replaces you, it may be so excruciatingly painful that you feel like you’re going to die.

You may wonder, “Are they in love?”

And, “Is it possible for them to have a successful relationship together?”

This Thriver TV episode will grant you some much-needed relief, truth, and perspective about all of this as you discover the real truth of how a narcissist will treat the new supply.




Video Transcript

It is so painful, initially, to be replaced.

Excruciatingly painful!

It may even be so painful that you feel like you are dying. I promise you I understand, I’ve been there!

And, of course, you may be agonising wondering how the narcissist is treating the new Supply. Are they happy as a couple? Is there a possibility that this relationship can really work?

I’m going to answer these questions and many more in today’s Thriver TV episode.

But before I do, I’d like to thank you if you have subscribed to my channel for supporting the Thriver Mission. If you haven’t yet subscribed, please do. And if you enjoy this video please remember to click the like button.

Alright, let’s dive into today’s episode.


The Honeymoon Period

Narcissists love bomb.

In the pursuit of narcissistic supply, narcissists are over the top. They get off on exclamations of desire, piling on the compliments, and incredible gestures of care and gifts.

From the outside, it can appear to be about “love” or even “infatuation”. Infatuation is definitely a lot closer to the mark than love, yet the reason why narcissists go after new Supply so convincingly is not at all romantic.

It’s purely about securing an object to self-medicate with.

I know that this can be a bitter pill to swallow, yet it’s very helpful to understand the truth of what our relationship with the narcissist was, to not have any envy about their future relationship(s).

It’s not personal – the way that narcissists objectify people as a source of supply. It’s not because these people are unlovable, rather it is because the narcissist is not capable of genuine love.

Genuine love is not about securing people as a supply source to be used. Genuine love, from one healthy adult to another, is about sharing power and love and granting care, affection and love without an agenda.

As beautiful and attentive and caring as the narcissist appears to be, there is a deep, dark agenda attached, which is, “you are being groomed so that I can secure you in order to prop up my False Self and help me survive my inner gnawing emptiness. You mean no more than this.”

Yes, things can look incredible between a new loved-up narcissistic couple on social media, and even from what you hear via other people. And the narcissist may cruelly tell you how in love they are with this new person.

But it will only be for a certain period of time.

Many people like to keep up pretences. Certainly, narcissists live within fictitious scripts, and even partners of narcissists are usually in denial of how things have switched and become so awful. They were so convinced and convincing of others that this person was their “soul-mate” that it becomes hugely shameful to admit that this is not the case.

Before you go through your Thriver Healing journey, you may stalk the two of them on social media, or ask other people about them, trying to find out if their relationship is working or if the cracks have appeared.

I want you to know from the bottom of my heart the following: there is no salvation or healing in this pursuit.

It is complete and utter Wrong Town, that will keep you stuck in the trauma and won’t allow you to be released from it.

The irony is, no physical or logical evidence is going to give you relief from this. The only relief that comes is from your healing within yourself, to find, release and reprogram the original wounds within you that have been keeping you trauma bonded to the narcissist.

It’s also really important to find and release and reprogram the extreme trauma that goes with being replaced.

One day, this is exactly the path the new Supply will need to take for his or her own healing. Because this person is extremely likely to be discarded and replaced just as you were.

It’s quite incredible, how in this community, there have been Thrivers narcissistically abused by the same narcissist, who are now wonderful friends within the community healing with NARP!


The Fall From Grace

This is how it goes with all narcissists and their new partners – the initial honeymoon period of love bombing idealisation starts to crack.

You see, at the beginning, the narcissist childishly declares that this person is the “best thing since sliced bread”. He or she to the narcissist is the shiniest, most incredible new Supply. This feeds the narcissist’s ego monstrously, granting them a massive hit of narcissistic supply.

But this is not based in reality. Sooner or later this person is not going to fulfil the narcissist’s insecure ego continually. When the high levels of initial narcissistic supply start to decrease, the narcissist will start feeling the familiar feelings of inner anxiety and rage again.

Narcissists always project these self-annihilating inner feelings onto somebody else and make them that person’s fault. Intimate love partners are common targets. They are also easy targets when the narcissist has secured this person as narcissistic supply. We hang around for the abuse.

So, just as it happened to you, the new partner is going to start becoming terribly confused and shocked when this previously “perfect” and “adorable” person starts to get sullen, moody and even inappropriate with their behaviour and comments.

This is the beginning of the devaluing cycle. And, as soon as the new partner starts to question it, not bow to it, and no longer grants the compliments, admiration, sex or adoration that they previously were supplying, the “iffy” comments will escalate to becoming more severe and devastating, and even lead into the discard phase.

The narcissist may say that he or she is having second thoughts. Or withdraw the commitment. Or choose some other action, display or tactic to create incredible fear and confusion for the new source of supply.

The narcissist may even decide to punish the new Supply by trying to hook up with you, the old Supply, and create a horrible triangulation situation.

All of this is incredibly common. In fact, it is usual for narcissists to do this. Don’t take it as a compliment if he or she hasn’t done this. It’s certainly not a compliment to be treated as an object for somebody’s self-serving soulless agendas, just as it is not a compliment to be used as a punishment tool against somebody else at whim, only to be discarded again.


The Cycle of Violence

Drama is what narcissistic relationships are all about.

The more compliant and gentle the new supply is, the less drama will be visible to all. However, the drama will still take place. The more triggered and reactionary the new Supply is, the more the cracks will be apparent, and the relationship is likely to go through many breakups as well as many episodes of reuniting.

That is until the new Supply is completely clear and free of any desire or compulsion to reconnect with the narcissist, or the narcissist has mined them to the point of complete brokenness and decided that there is nothing more to gain.

The same goes for all narcissistic relationships.

Even if the partner is quiet and compliant and keeping the home fires burning while the narcissist is being a narcissist, which means being selfish, loose, unaccountable and reckless, the narcissist is still likely to take them through the cycles of idealisation, devalue and discard.

Idealisation happens when the new Supply is leaving or has had enough, and the narcissist needs to hoover him or her back into the relationship to retain narcissistic supply. Such as for the convenience of what this person does for them – providing the veneer of the perfect life or to keep paying the bills and mopping up the messes, etc.

Or, the narcissist is charming them in order to manipulate them into handing something over.

Further into the relationship, the devaluing happens virtually at all other times, when not needing to idealise. This is because the narcissist is constantly suffering the horrific inner emotional traumas regarding themselves, needing to project them onto the new Supply.

Then the discarding happens to punish the new Supply for not appeasing the False Self adequately (which of course is impossible to do).

The discarding could even be done on the side, allowing the narcissist to feel vindicated for being treated “so badly”, by taking lovers, prostitutes, or seeking sexual supply from past partners or even friends of the new Supply.

The new Supply may know nothing about this.

And, to the outside world, all may seem well.

Unless you are living within the four walls of their homes, you really have no idea how other people’s lives are actually going.


Your Healing In All of This

You may be focusing much of your energy on what is going on between the narcissist and the new Supply. I understand this. Before my Thriver Healing journey I did this myself.

The trauma from this is horrific. If you are honest with yourself you know how rank this feels in your body. You know how much this is draining your life force and making it almost impossible for you to function.

When the traumas in your body are screaming at you, they’re telling you that you are adding to them and not healing them.

I promise you this … when you let go, and take on your healing journey with NARP, you will start to emerge from this with incredible relief and know there is nothing here to envy.

No money, lifestyle or even privileges are worth anyone’s soul being desecrated.

The love that you thought you should have received, that possibly this person is now getting from the narcissist, does not exist!

There is nothing real to gain or have!

And please know, you are further along your evolutionary path than the new Supply. You are in the prime position to turn inwards and heal, so that you can claim your True Self and True Life.

The new Supply still has to wait for this relationship to finally blow up into pieces that simply cannot be put back together, or to drag themselves out of there shaking and quaking and barely alive.

Or, they stay, and get their soul sucked out of them.

The best thing you can do for you, and for all people who have been through narcissistic abuse, is to claim your healing, and become a shining force of inspiration for those who are still stuck, if they seek you out.

Which is exactly what myself and other Thrivers in this community do.

I hope that this has helped and inspired you to heal for real from this.

If this video has helped grant you relief, I’d love to hear from you about how it has helped, by pausing this video and writing to me below.

So, if you have had enough of the agony of wondering about the narcissist and the new Supply and going through the crippling feelings of that, it could be time for you to start healing with NARP.

You can check out NARP by clicking this link.

I really hope that this video has given you the hope that there is a way to get out of this trauma.

So, if you enjoyed this video, please hit the like button. And remember to share it with people who you know are terrorised by the narcissist moving on to a new partner.

If you would like to be notified each time I release a new video, please remember to subscribe.

And, as always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.



Exactly How Narcissists Screw With Your Mind, Toxify Your Body And Destroy Your Life

Exactly How Narcissists Screw With Your Mind, Toxify Your Body And Destroy Your Life



Narcissistic abuse is mind and soul bending and many people are shocked at how hard it is to recover and reclaim your mind, body and life.

Obsessive thoughts can continually haunt them so they feel like they have been taken over by a hideous emotional virus.

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I explain how this happened, as well as how to take your power back to not only emerge from this as healed, whole and vibrant …

But also, completely inoculated against this ever happening to you again in the future.




Video Transcript

Narcissistic abuse is mind and soul bending.

Being hit by a narcissist is akin to being hit by a freight train. So many people are shocked to discover that they simply cannot get up off the ground and just get on with life anymore.

I know that is likely to have been your experience as well.

And, it is terrifying how much your brain feels scrambled.

The obsessive thoughts continually haunt you and you feel like you have been infected with a hideous emotional virus that literally takes over your nervous system and ability to function.

In addition to this, so many areas of your life may be under siege and falling apart.

Narcissists commonly destroy people’s lives and literally rip them to pieces emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially. The effects of this also impact everyone and everything that is dear to you.

This is a total breakdown experience that no one could even begin to imagine unless they have been through it themselves.

Alright, so before we delve deeper into exactly how narcissists destroy your life, as well as how you can recover from this, I want to thank all of you for supporting my Thriver Mission.

And, if you haven’t yet subscribed I’d like to remind you to please do. Also, please give this episode a thumbs up if you enjoy it.

Now let’s go deeper with this information today.


How Do Narcissists Get In?

Narcissists are highly skilled at infiltrating your mind, emotions, soul and life.

How do they do this?

I really hope that you are ready to hear this with openness and the desire to heal from narcissistic abuse for real. Because the truth really does set us free, when we accept it.

100% I validate that narcissists are predators who are on the lookout for sources of supply, meaning they are after what they can take from people. And it is shocking what they do. Yet, it is a fallacy that a narcissist can abuse just anybody.

As was the case in my life, and so many others, we did not, as yet, have a solid enough Inner Identity to have powerful boundary function. Meaning the ability to trust ourselves, speak up, say no when necessary, and be emotionally whole and powerful enough to do the necessary due diligence before letting somebody into our life.

This provided a way in. It was a crack in our integrity of self. Narcissists are skilled at identifying where your boundaries aren’t solid and capitalising on this.

This is how narcissists do this – they sum you up and they fact find. They know how to discover what it is that you feel still hurts in your life, what is missing, or whatever it is that you believe you can’t generate for yourself.

Now, all the narcissist has to do is position themselves as the granter or saviour of this “missing piece”. Then we feel like we can trust them. Then we even feel like we need them. We may even feel like this is the person we’ve been waiting for our entire life.

This creates a powerful chemical connection to this person.

This is one of the most confronting things that I had to face myself. Yet, it was what finally emancipated me from not just the trauma of my abuse symptoms but granted me the confidence and power to know I would never allow abuse in the future.

What were my susceptibilities, fears and insecurities that made me a prime target for narcissists, and allowed them to get in through my boundary gaps?

The following … I was too trusting of people. I didn’t do my necessary due diligence to firmly ascertain their true character before letting them into my heart, bed, body, businesses and finances.

I was scared of backing my inner warning bells and having the difficult conversations that meant that I might be susceptible to people reacting to my questioning, or boundaries, or rights, meaning that they could reject, abandon or punish me for speaking up.

So many people who have been soul penetrated by narcissists have also carried the fears of C.R.A.P.

I am certainly not alone!

The members of this community, who have become successful Thrivers, have also done their inner inventory and devoted the time and effort to heal up those parts of themselves, like my own, that made them highly susceptible to unscrupulous people who did not have their best interests at heart.

A dear friend of mine, Cheryl, also suffered some “gaps” that narcissists were able to slip into her life through. Because she didn’t believe she could be safe and uphold boundaries on her own, unconsciously (like so many of us) she wanted somebody big, strong and assertive to do that for her.

As a result, the people who came into her life, were not a rock for her, they turned out to be a hammer instead.

These people were not relieving Cheryl of her inner insecurities, rather they brought her the evidence of them.

It’s so important to understand that this doesn’t mean Cheryl was blaming and shaming herself for being abused, just as she wasn’t excusing narcissistic behaviour.

Rather it granted her the true solution!

By realising this susceptibility, this granted her the personal power to heal these parts of herself to stop handing power over to people who were hurting her. After healing these parts, Cheryl discovered that she no longer felt any attachment or a need to try to change these people, so that they would love and care for her.

Rather, she felt a complete disconnect from them, and absolutely no desire to be with them anymore.

Thus, breaking free into a completely different love and relationship trajectory.

Cheryl is now in a relationship with a beautiful man, who reflects back to her the care, love and power that she has now been able to take full responsibility for and establish within herself. By becoming her own rock, she received the matching partner.

We may not have realised the following, because it has been our “normal” – that we may have unconsciously been trying to get somebody to love us to take away the pain.

Yet, as a match for our unhealed Inner Being, they were only ever going to supply more of the same pain.

This is what narcissists do.


How We Have Been Programmed to Be Exploited

The sensible, healthy adult thing is to do what Cheryl did, heal oneself up in order to achieve the healthy outcome – taking your time to get to know people before committing your emotions, soul and resources to them.

Sadly, so many of us have been indoctrinated into the “fairy tale illusion”. We have been conditioned to be emotionally reckless; believing that getting caught up in the moment is the right thing to do.

I often jokingly say that I used to put more effort into choosing a pair of shoes than a love relationship.

In many ways, this was true and very frightening!

I was incredibly susceptible to love bombing and someone purporting to be the provider of what I wanted. If a potential partner was tall, charismatic, and intelligent and seemed to empathise with me feeling unseen, unheard and unsafe, then I really used to believe that I’d hit the jackpot!

We believe in love at first sight! We believe in an instant bond with our soulmate!

But what we may not realise is these deep chemical attractions can be a deep inner part of us desiring the resolution of our childhood wounds. The wanting of our mother or father to do it differently than what they did.

Here is the grand dichotomy in all of this – the person who appears in our life, who we feel chemically bonded to, is offering the promise of taking away the pain of our unresolved childhood wounds. Yet, as it turns out, they end up being the person who delivers an even more severe level of the trauma of our childhood wounds.

At first, we are not initially awakened enough to realise what is really going on, and why we are experiencing such a powerful chemical hit and attraction. Generally, we simply fall straight into this relationship, because it feels so “right”.

Plus, people in your life are telling you to get out there and meet somebody new. You may feel the stigma of being un-partnered or unmarried. Maybe you feel like your biological clock is ticking away and you need to find somebody to settle down with to start a family.

Or maybe you have seen your ex-partner move on quickly and feel the desperate injustice that you haven’t been able to yet.

It is only conscious and evolving people who will tell you the truth. A healing hiatus is needed with yourself, to change your inner love code and the relationship patterns that have been playing out, so that you can go forward into life experiencing a completely different reality.

And what it takes is this: to become at one, whole and fulfilled within yourself first.

Sadly, our programming has always kept us separated from the taking back of our power with radical personal responsibility, to get out of this terrible pattern.

Rather, we have been programmed to be victims and blame people who have hurt us, and then try to change them so that they can love us healthily.

And, we can jump up and down and exclaim that it is disgusting that people behave like this. But in no way does this allow us to heal and get better and get out of these patterns. All it does is further entrench us in them.

And when it doesn’t work, we may try to find somebody else to take the pain away. And then discover that often we are falling into the same pattern and meeting the same person, just with a different face.

If you are sick and tired of these quick fixes which don’t provide durable happiness, you may be ready to understand that only one truth will suffice. You must turn inwards to heal your relationship with yourself, and only you can do that.

One of the benefits of narcissistic relationships, as brutal as they are, is that they bring us to our knees to realise this. And this is where personal catharsis can begin.

The real truth is, as adults we are responsible for our own boundaries, it is not anybody else’s job. We are not children anymore. If we hand our power away and blindly expect somebody else to look after our well-being, emotions, boundaries and life-force, then we are highly susceptible to being not just taken advantage of, but also horribly abused and even desecrated.

Such is the case with narcissistic abuse.


How The Damage Deepens

Because the narcissist purports to be the person who will finally love us like no other and grants us our wholeness, this creates a powerful and quick bond.

Sooner or later the mask will drop. The mirage can’t continue, and the narcissistic behaviour starts to appear.

Far from being the saviour of our deficiencies, insecurities or things in our life that we feel like we can’t generate for ourselves, the narcissist now switches and starts attacking these things.

So, the person who was loving, romantic and truly was seeing you and being there for you, now starts emotionally and literally criticising, rejecting, abandoning and punishing you.

He or she will start messing with your head and emotions and start sucking resources from your life. The entitlement becomes apparent; the relationship becomes less about you and so much more about what the narcissist is or isn’t getting.

By remaining attached, you will be trauma bonded beyond description, fighting with insanity trying to get sanity, safety and comfort. Yet, every time you try to force the narcissist to be healthy, they will line you up and damage you even more ferociously.

Now you’re on a sinking ship, trying to salvage what you can, whilst the toxic levels of trauma and stress in your being reach a critical mass, breaking down your nervous system health, sanity and emotional structures until you literally feel like you are crumbling.

Your capacity to be able to deal with virtually anything becomes severely diminished.

Narcissistic abuse, before awakening to the truth, is a one-way trip to your personal demise, on so many levels and can even become extremely dangerous for you personally, as well as seriously impacting those you love.

What is the lesson in this?

At the Quantum Truth level, the message is clear – “Let go and heal”, that’s what this soul contract was always about.


How To Reverse This

There is no way you can engage with a narcissist and get relief and emancipation from this.

True evolution from this is an inside job.

The narcissist is not your solution. You are, and this requires detaching, facing and doing the necessary healing within yourself.

This is a make or break deal.

If you really get this now and understand, please pause this video and write below, “I’m turning inwards to become my own true saviour now!”

This is vital, because the breakdown either continues and increases, or the breakdown transforms into an incredible breakthrough of personal evolution – where you can heal and claim your true essence which is: self-love, self-worth and the sanctity of your own soul, emotions and life.

I hope that this has helped you understand how the narcissist has, or does, rip your life apart, and has started to grant you the hope that there is a true solution to get up and out of this.

I really want you to know that there is a definitive way to heal and release yourself from all of the symptoms of narcissistic abuse, as well as never being susceptible to having your soul, heart and life torn to pieces again.

It is such a beautiful feeling when you realise that you have made it through to this level!

I can’t wait to help you get there!

The best way that I can help you get there, is by you joining my Free Masterclass. If you didn’t make it, you can watch the replay, by clicking this link.

I can’t recommend enough that you do this!

Because in this free event you will learn about the exact step-by-step process, which has proven successful for thousands of people from over 120 different countries, to help you make a full Thriver Recovery too.

And, if you enjoyed this video please give it a thumbs up and please know that if you subscribe to my channel, you will be automatically notified when my two new episodes are released each week.

And as always, I look forward to your comments and questions below.



Narcissists Are Predictable! 10 Things All Narcissists Say

Narcissists Are Predictable! 10 Things All Narcissists Say


Narcissists would like to think that they are unique. But they’re not.

It’s astounding how narcissists say the same things and it’s actually FREAKY!

In this Thriver TV episode I share with you how virtually all narcissists behave in certain situations, how they will react, and the exact (or close enough) words that commonly come out of their mouths.

I also explain what you can do to not be affected by this ridiculousness!



Video Transcript


I remember over a decade ago, when I started reaching out to people about my narcissistic abuse experience, people commonly said, “That’s exactly what the narcissist said to me too!”

Narcissists would like to think that they are unique. But they’re not.

They are in fact incredibly predictable, and that’s what I want to share with you today – how virtually every narcissist will behave almost identically, in the following situations.

So, watch on to find out how they do!

Okay, so before we get started, I would just like to say that I am extremely excited to share with you that I have released my next Free Masterclass, which is coming up in only a few days.

After watching this video, you will know just how this Masterclass can help you regarding getting clear and healing from narcissistic abuse, which you may not have been able to achieve before taking this free class.

You can register for this Quantum Healing Event by clicking this link. 

Now, let’s get into this juicy topic for today, regarding the ten things that virtually all narcissists say.

#1 When Asked For Your Needs To Be Met

“It’s always all about you!”

When trying to negotiate with the narcissist, a lot of what you’re asking for is just common decent behaviour.

You are not asking for the narcissist to fly to the moon for you.

As examples, if you asked to be spoken to nicely, or to be allowed to know the narcissist’s plans and how they may affect you (simple human requests) the narcissist will take umbrage and tell you how unreasonable, and even selfish, this is.

This is where you can feel like you are going crazy, trying to get a child in an adult’s body to understand that a healthy relationship requires care and consideration for one another.

The narcissist simply does not get this, even about basic things, let alone the extreme bad behaviour that he or she does act out.

When you heal for real from narcissistic abuse, I promise you that you will deeply embody that it is healthy for you to speak up for what you need, and know that you deserve to have your needs heard and met by another healthy adult.

And, you will never accept less than this again.

#2 When You Are Leaving Them

“You will never find anybody like me!”

Other variations to this expression are, “You will never find anybody who loves you as much as I do” and “You know that you can’t live without me.”

It’s not until we heal that we realise how ludicrous this really is – we don’t want to ever find anybody like them again and live the torturous life that we’ve been having!

Yet, when you are still emotionally enmeshed with the narcissist, one of their greatest tactics to keep you hooked as supply is to make you feel dependent and helpless without them.

It’s about having you believe that your life going forward on your own will be one of terrible loss.

I promise you that when you go through your Thriver Healing process, you will discover that this is totally not the case! Rather, you will be thrilled that you are free, and you’ve left all of this pain, confusion, and abuse behind.

And you will become self-generative – meaning happy, confident and whole in your own skin.

#3 When Being Confronted

“Here we go again!” (Accompanied with a sarcastic eye roll).

Other variations of this one are, “You are crazy” and “You are the only person I ever have this trouble with.”

This is invalidation at its finest. This is how the narcissist can make you start to doubt your own sanity and believe that there is something wrong with you.

Invalidation of your feelings and being unwilling to meet you and talk about what concerns you is painful enough, yet narcissistic abuse takes this to another level.

Narcissists know how to not just invalidate you, but to also demean your character and sanity at the same time.

It’s little wonder that so many people feel like it must be their fault and suffer terrible assaults on their self-esteem and personal identity.

I really want you to know that my Thriver Healing process, that is the NARP Program, transforms you to a wholeness and self-validation which means you will no longer try to get understanding from somebody who refuses to give it to you.

Rather, if you have confronted somebody deficient in resources to be humble, real and to engage in healthy communication with you, and they are unable to, then you will disengage, move on and create healthy relationships with those who can.

#4 When Treating You Horribly

“But I love you!”

When this happens it feels so crazy, because it could be said when the narcissist is telling you all the things that are wrong with you.

Or whilst the narcissist is telling you that he or she is going to leave you.

It could even be said to you amongst the most horrendous insults, name-calling, and so much worse.

As many people discover, these words hold very little weight when the actions simply don’t match them. Additionally, the narcissist is capable of horrific discards and even replacing you with fresh and new supply at a moment’s notice.

Of course, someone who really loves you doesn’t behave like this!

This I can assure you, after going through your true recovery from the inside out, you will know what real love is. No longer will you be emotionally dismayed that somebody does not have the resources to love you genuinely. This is because you now have solid and real authentic love already going on within yourself.

This is an absolute truth that we discover after Thriver Recovery – you will never accept a level of love below the level that you have been able to establish in your self-partnering with yourself.

You will no longer agonise about someone’s lack of capacity to love you. It’s just not a match for who you are now.

This is when real love that is genuine and wholesome can and will come into your life.

#5 When Confronted For Adulterous Behaviour

“You have jealousy issues!”

Generally, the narcissist will start attacking you with counter-accusations if you are getting close to catching them out.

The narcissist is totally invested into proving that you are wrong, and they are above reproach.

He or she does this by trying to get you to doubt yourself and start to believe that maybe you are insecure and don’t have a right to believe or think the things that you do.

After healing yourself into being a whole and empowered individual, you will know what you do and don’t deserve in your life. You will be willing to take a stand to lose it all to get it all, meaning that unless there is proof there is no truth.

And if there is no truth then you move away, heal and start to generate healthy, trustworthy and genuine relationships instead of ones filled with deception and betrayal.

#6 When You Want Accountability

“You are damaged from your past!”

If you ask the narcissist for clarification, he or she is likely to tell you that you have trust issues as a result of the problems that you’ve experienced in your past. And of course, the narcissist purports that this has nothing to do with his or her behaviour now.

Many of us, who have been narcissistically abused, are good people who take personal responsibility. It is very usual for people like us to try to fix ourselves to try to make our relationships better.

The narcissist may capitalise on this, especially if we don’t know how to create healthy boundaries, honour ourselves and leave if these boundaries are not respected.

This I can assure you, whilst healing from narcissistic abuse with NARP (the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program), you will know that your boundaries and truth reside in the present. You will also know that the past has absolutely nothing to do with you knowing your values and your rights today.

NARP grants you the potential to never be derailed again from stating and knowing what your boundaries are with a narcissistic individual.

#7 When Using Circular Arguments

“Stop raising your voice!”

Another version of this is, “I’m not talking to you until you speak to me respectfully!”

Narcissists have all sorts of nasty tools in their arsenal to make you feel like your head is spinning in an argument with them. They refuse to stay on topic and use all sorts of defensive comments and nasty projections that are so violating, that it is usual for you to lose all emotional stability.

Then, when you get triggered and angry, the narcissist goes from bait to switch and turns it all back on you.

Those of us who have been abused by narcissists know exactly how epically maddening this is.

During Thriver Recovery, you go through a powerful evolution where you know how to stay only on the topic and refuse to go down rabbit holes with the narcissist (which is where he or she loves to take you).

Then, if the narcissist won’t comply, you detach, detox from him or her and take what is necessary to the next level. When you know how to no longer be triggered and have your facts straight and in line, it is far easier to defeat the narcissist than you might think.

#8 When Gaslighting You

“They know who you are!”

The narcissist will tell you how selfish, immoral and nasty your character is and how other people have found you out and are even talking about your defectiveness behind your back.

This is the narcissist projecting his or her disowned inner parts onto you and making out that these disordered things are coming from you.

Because you do have a good character, it is beyond devastating to be accused of things that are not what you do and also frustratingly know that they are actually how the narcissist behaves.

After healing for real from narcissistic abuse, you will no longer get hooked in by this.

Because you are now totally comfortable in knowing who you are, and are no longer attached to what other people do or don’t think about you. You know that the people who are meant to be in your life will know you for who you really are, and the ones that don’t are totally entitled to their opinion.

It’s not important what other people think about you. It’s important what you think about you.

#9 When Breaking Promises

“Just because I didn’t do what you wanted when you wanted it.”

Narcissists don’t like to comply. They have no desire to be a team player or do things for you that would make you happy (unless there is an agenda attached).

It’s much more preferable to the narcissist to use promises to manipulate you, to get what they want, and to let you down and hurt you when he or she wants to lash out and punish you.

Then the narcissist will twist it all back on you and make it your fault, telling you that your expectations are unreasonable.

During your Thriver Recovery, statements like this will no longer affect you. You will know that they are utter lunacy because real healthy people not only want to commune, care and assist those they love, they also have the emotional resources to do so.

#10 When Abusing You

“You make me behave like this!”

This is the classic narcissistic way of not taking responsibility for horrible behaviour and blaming you for it.

If you believe it, you will try to change your reactions and responses to have a better relationship with the narcissist. However, you will discover that none of this works; the narcissist will still behave terribly regardless of what you try to amend or do differently.

As a result of healing from the inside out with NARP, you will no longer be scapegoated for someone else’s disgraceful and abusive behaviour. Never again will you take responsibility for it. Rather you will leave, heal yourself back to wholeness, and enter and maintain relationships with people who would never have the capacity to behave like this.

Healing From All Of This!

It is eerily freaky how narcissists say the same things!

You may wonder how this is possible. Really, this is simply the product of a disordered Inner Self who refuses to take personal responsibility and suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Until we know better, of course we argue with this behaviour and try to sort it out to make this person see sense and behave decently.

But to no avail!

I hope you can understand that these types of behaviours are narcissistic defence mechanisms that can’t be reasoned with.

This is why you have to find another way, a way that works.

To explain in detail what I have been touching on in this video, I have just opened up my next Free Masterclass where we go through exactly how to create your true Thriver Recovery.

I will show you how it’s done.

So, come join my next Free Masterclass by clicking this link.

Also please share this video with others who you know are suffering from the insanity of narcissistic abuse.

And as always, I look forward to answering your questions and your comments below.



Do Narcissists Ever Regret Their Behaviour?

Do Narcissists Ever Regret Their Behaviour?


Narcissistic behaviour is unfathomable. Yet, even after experiencing the horrible, malicious things that a narcissist is capable of, you may be wondering the following …

Will he or she ever wake up? Will the narcissist ever regret their behaviour?

Is it possible for this person to have remorse for what they’ve done to you?

In today’s TTV episode I’m going to bring you the raw, unadulterated truth about these questions, and more … In such a way that hopefully you will never need to ponder this again!



Video Transcript

These are the questions on so many people’s lips …

Do narcissists know what they are doing?

Do they ever regret their behaviour?

Do they ever atone for what they’ve done?

If you want to know the truth to these questions, then watch on because I’m going to answer these questions and more in today’s TTV episode.

Before we get started, thank you everyone, who has supported the Thriver Mission by subscribing to my channel, and I’d like to remind you, if you haven’t already, please do. And if you enjoy this video make sure to give it a thumbs up!

Now let’s get started on this very important episode by looking at a humanity-based system of regret, and then we can move on to what narcissistic regret really is.


Understanding Genuine Regret

Genuine human regret contains the following vital points:

• Remorse for what happened to others.
• A desire to resolve damage caused to others.
• Wanting to atone and amend future behaviour.

Does this sound to you like what a narcissist is capable of?

Of course, it doesn’t, because it isn’t even what a narcissist wishes for. He or she does not want to be vulnerable, real, genuinely apologetic or hand over anything to others that may leave them susceptible to them.

In stark contrast, people who are not narcissistic, want to connect, care and can join with others in healthy ways. They desire teamwork and trust and know these are essential commodities in order to experience healthy relationships.


General Narcissistic Regret

Narcissistic regret contains these antisocial elements:

• Zero compassion, concern or care for others.
• Feelings of loss as a self-absorbed failure of their personal agenda.
• Comebacks that are equal to, or greater than, the previous pathological lies and manipulations.

Can you see the difference?

The narcissist may be feeling incredibly regretful about what didn’t work, or what was exposed. But this is purely about the narcissist, no one else.

A prime example is when a narcissist is dumped by someone else. He or she may feel the terrible regret of losing narcissistic supply. However, the object of supply is simply an object. This person was being used as a tool to regulate the narcissist’s emotions, without the exchange having anything to do with the other person’s feelings, rights or identity.

The narcissist may feel such ‘terrible (narcissistic) regret’ that he or she may feign responsibility or remorse, which may even come complete with crocodile tears.

Likewise, the narcissist may regret discarding you, if you don’t crawl back to him or her. But it doesn’t mean they feel sorry for the horrible things they did to you. They regret losing their narcissistic supply, sex, money, free living place and other privileges.

Yet, despite the act of trying to win you back, this person is likely to be scouting for new supply on the side simultaneously. As soon as a new source of supply (object) has been secured, then there is zero regret in the losing of the old source.

Of course, it comes complete with total malicious discard, much like one would eliminate an old pair of boots that one no longer wishes to wear.


Extended Narcissistic Regret

This next bit may really shock you.

I hope it does because it will allow you to stop trying to believe that a narcissist can adopt the genuine regret and remorse that normal people have, or that somehow you are going to be able to help them reach this level of humanity and emotional maturity.

The reality of narcissistic regret, in regard to their behaviours, is more sinister than you may have ever believed.

Not only do narcissists have a stunted ability to have genuine regret for what they have done to other people, they have actual regret regarding NOT being able to be more of a law onto themselves, and inflict even worse, conscienceless acts.

Examples of this are:

• Married or committed narcissists having to fit in with socially acceptable monogamy, and not being able to have sex with just anybody they want.
• Failing to exact revenge on people who they deemed to have betrayed them (not appeased their False Self enough) to the level that they really wanted to.
• Not being able to smear and defame another successfully enough to not be exposed by that person.
• Having to expend so much energy manipulating and charming their way to the goodies that they believe they should just be entitled to.
• Not having achieved more, or constantly having to construct elaborate lies, to make sure other people don’t steal the limelight from them.

I could write about another ten examples, but I hope that you get the point.

The narcissist does not fit into the normal humane construct that those with a soul and conscience do. Narcissism is a rogue system that is positioned on the constant requirement of filling an insatiable black hole within.

The narcissist’s fragile and highly disordered inner identity does not know how to operate in any other way.

The Short Answer to The Original Questions

Let’s go over this again …

Do narcissists know what they are doing?

Yes, they are doing whatever they are doing in order to secure narcissistic supply. There is no regret or remorse for doing that.

However, it’s important to understand that they have very little if any comprehension of how this affects other people. The truth is, to the narcissist, that’s irrelevant. They don’t care. People are only objects anyway.

Do they ever regret their behaviour?

Yes, a narcissist can regret their behaviour, but only ever in the context of it being only about the narcissist and their agenda.

Do they ever atone for what they’ve done?

A narcissist will not genuinely atone for what they’ve done.

They can feign genuine remorse and even apologise (fleetingly) but this is simply to reinstate the personal agenda, which sadly has nothing to do with care, compassion or love for others.

Once the cracks appear in relationships and dealings with others, it is usual that the narcissist will start looking for fresh supply on the side, and once secured, the old supply will be discarded as if it didn’t ever exist. Which, then is followed by the destruction of devaluation and smearing.

Of course, this happens until there comes a time when the new supply can be punished with the old supply, in which case triangulation can take place.

I hope that this episode has helped clear things up for you and made you realise that wanting a narcissist to be regretful, remorseful and atone in ways that have anything to do with you, is as fruitless as trying to play fetch with a crocodile.

The narcissist simply does not have the inner resources, or brain wiring, to comply.

What is vitally important for you is to let go of needing the narcissist to atone for you to heal. By focusing on him or her and not working on healing your woundedness of what went down, you are enslaving yourself to your own trauma prison indefinitely.

I can show you another way, a much better way to start healing and breaking free from this prison and narcissistic person, today.

To access this please click this link.

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When Narcissists Are Hurting The People You Love … How Do You Help Them?

When Narcissists Are Hurting The People You Love … How Do You Help Them?

It is can be disturbing and devastating to watch a loved one struggling with a narcissist.
You may have a child whose partner is a narcissist and you feel isolated and powerless to help them.
Or you may have a parent, sibling or friend who is experiencing narcissistic abuse and you don’t know what to do.
There is a way to help them, other than lecturing and trying to get them to wake up. In this episode, I’m going to explain to you exactly how to do this.



Video Transcript

So many of you have often asked me, how can I help my child who is now isolated and controlled by the narcissistic spouse?

Or maybe your sister, brother or dear friend is hopelessly enmeshed with a narcissist abusing them at work, in a love relationship or even in a friendship.

You may be beyond concerned that the person you care about isn’t waking up to this and seems to be slipping further and further away from you.

Maybe you have grandchildren that you don’t see anymore because of a narcissistic in-law.

How can you help the person you love who is deeply in the clutches of narcissistic abuse?

In today’s TTV episode I explain to you the only way I know that works and does work to help your loved ones recover from this.

But before we get started on this episode, I’d like to thank each and every one of you who have subscribed to my channel and supported the Thriver Mission. If you haven’t yet done so please do, and also give this episode a thumbs up if it resonates with you.

Okay, so now on to this very important information.


The Deeper and Necessary Understanding of Quantum Law

There is nothing more heartbreaking than seeing the people whom we love suffer. There is nothing more frustrating and unjust than seeing them ripped away from us by a pathological narcissist.

What is doubly frustrating is the more we try to talk sense to the person we love, the more they can pull away from us and even side with the narcissist.

You may be agonising over why this is happening, but what I always like to do is to just get down to the pure truth of things – which is this:

Whichever way we are powerfully emotionally vibrating about anything (including somebody we care about), is exactly the experience that we will have in our personal experience.

Let me put it to you simply. If you feel that someone in your life is being emotionally smashed, abused and isolated from you, then that is the experience you will continue to Quantumly generate in your life.

This is especially true if you see this person as broken and powerless.

Now, before you think that I am blaming you for the experience that they are having, please hear me out. I am not blaming you in any shape or form, I am just explaining how energetic law and true manifesting takes place.

It is a human and beautiful part of our nature to deeply care for, be concerned about and have compassion for those whom we love. Yet, when you understand Quantum Law, you will realise that this is not necessarily helping those you love get better and get away from toxic circumstances.

Rather, it contributes to them being deeply stuck.

To truly help those you love requires a deeper understanding of Quantum Law, which I am beyond inspired to share with you.  In order to be able to help, you need to know the actual steps to Quantumly – which means for real – help the person who is not, at this point, helping themselves.

So, let’s dive in and get started.


Step Number One: Acceptance

The greatest barrier to us trying to change our life experience, including the experience of others we care about, is resistance to what is happening in the present moment.

Of course, from the human perspective, we judge what is happening to them as ‘wrong’. Yet, by doing so, we are not understanding the grand design deeper truth of their soul’s evolution and journey.

I personally believe 100% that there is a reason for ‘all of it’, meaning that anyone’s personal evolution is about calling forth and participating in the experiences that are going to make their unconscious programs conscious, and lead them inwards to healing and resolving what is necessary in order to generate a different life experience.

That is exactly what happened to us regarding our own narcissistic abuse which then led us to entering and activating our Thriver Recovery.

When you can take the evolutionary high road of understanding that what your loved one is going through is a necessary transaction for their own personal awakening and evolution, then your deepest wish is not so much for that experience to be removed or brought to an end, but for their soul to awaken and become empowered, self-loving and self-defining within the experience.

And, when you truly love another, then you will bless the experience and not make it so personally about yourself.

How often have we wanted to try to force somebody to change in order for us to feel better?

Usually, if we are honest with ourselves, this is the case. It is understandable and even intensely loving towards others, yet it defies getting a positive result from Quantum Law, as much as trying to defy a natural law such as gravity would be.

It is impossible to generate a change in your life experience by trying to change something outside of you, including somebody you love, in order for you to feel better.

What is much more likely to happen as per Quantum Law – so within, so without – is that this person you are trying to rescue from their situation will supply you more evidence of the inner emotional experience that you are already having. Namely, them not being well.

There is only one way to change your experience of anything or anyone, and that is to find the way to feel better about ‘what is’ so as to create the base foundation to go emotionally inward to then create a different experience that will spill out and have an influence on the outer experience.

This starts with acceptance.

A powerful mantra that you can say often in regard to this person who is being abused by a narcissist is, ‘I bless and accept your experience as sacred. No matter what it looks like, I know that it is offering you the highest possible evolutionary path that your soul yearns for.’


Step Number Two: Shifting Your Emotional Response

You have to know that trying to go in and change things, whilst you feel devastated for this person, is not going to work.

If anything, you run the risk of pushing them further away from you and more into the arms of the abuser.

There is a better way to deal with this, and the great thing is that it is activated by working on the only person that you do have the power to change – yourself. And, you can be totally available for this mission.

This is how it works …

By fully understanding and accepting that the way that you create change for yourself and others you care about, is by changing yourself. This doesn’t mean changing the way that you interact with them, even though this is a natural by-product of this … rather it means completely changing your inner emotional composition about this person and what they are going through.

Let me explain to you what I mean with this example.

A NARP member called Gail was devastated that her daughter who was married to a narcissist, was becoming more and more isolated from her and the rest of the family.

To add insult to injury, Gail’s daughter had three children under the age of ten whom Gail adored. Her ability to visit her grandchildren was getting reduced, as she continually received opposition and excuses. Gail knew that her daughter was being twisted and turned against her and her husband by her daughter’s husband.

Gail wrote into me asking me what she could do. I related to her the only solution I have ever known to work. I invited Gail to join NARP and start using the healings to target the traumas in her body regarding what her daughter was going through and how it was impacting Gail.

Gail put in the hard work with NARP and kept moving these terrible traumas in her body and shifting them out, until peace replaced the previous fear and anxiety.

Gail reached the place which we all do, on any topic in our life, when we work with the Quanta Freedom Healing processes of NARP; where the trauma was released, truth entered.

Gail realised that her daughter was going through a soul growth lesson with this man, and she also realised that everybody involved including the children, herself and the family were also going through their own personal evolution as a result of this.

Gail knew that her true power to assist in this solution was to accept that everything was in perfect and divine order, and then to powerfully contribute by shifting herself to ‘feel’ and ‘know’ that her daughter had an infinitely wise Inner Being who could also wake up to the truth.

The more Gail did this work, the more she was able to let go and allow, and keep working on herself to hold her daughter in this emotional vibration.

What happened next is what happens next in virtually every circumstance – Gail’s daughter approached her only a few weeks later. She asked her mother for help to take herself and the children in because she was divorcing her husband.

The spell had been broken.

Gail’s daughter also started working with NARP so as to detox the narcissistic husband out of her system, parent and create healthy powerful boundaries.  By doing this, he lost the advantage of her previous fear to abuse her with. She also set up powerful parallel parenting plans.

I know 100%, because I’ve seen it happen so many times in other people’s lives as well as in my life with my own son Zac, that if Gail had stayed in the same emotional devastation that she was previously in, none of this would have happened.

If you want your life to change regarding the people you love, then you need to become the change that you seek, from the inside out.


Step Number Three: Replace Blame and Resentment With Love

One of the most vital transitions you need to go through to help the people whom you love is to stop blaming and shaming them. It’s very common and of course understandable, to be angry and upset with this person you love for turning their back on you or siding with the narcissist against you.

Many people get confused regarding boundaries versus resentment. To help somebody awaken and re-enter your life, and their own life healthily, you must engage the power of love. Which means seeing and holding them in love without any personal hurt of your own being involved.

You may have to work really hard at this with NARP in order to shift out all vestiges of blame, resentment and hurt.

Remember, love heals, resentment hinders.

This does not mean drop your boundaries. If the person whom you love is infiltrating and damaging your boundaries, then enforce them, lovingly and directly and honestly.

That is what real love does. You are not loving another honestly by forfeiting your boundaries and hurting yourself to try to make them happy or love you. That’s a false love economy.

Let me share with you the following example.

Don is another NARP member who was doing the inner work regarding his son being in business with a very toxic narcissist determined to keep him away from Don and the family.

Yet, his son would come to Don to borrow money because of his business losses. The interactions went like this, every few months or so Don’s son made contact, but it was only about money. At all other times, he refused to be in contact with the family.

Before working with NARP, Don used to grant money to his son to try to stay in contact, yet after working with NARP and losing his trauma about what was happening with his son, Don started saying ‘No’.

Predictably all contact stopped and was unanswered when Don and his wife would reach out.

However, Don kept working with NARP as instructed to release all his guilt and obligation and trauma and just kept bringing in the highest possibility of resolution, which was his son awakening into his own infinite inner wisdom, thus evolving beyond the abuse.

It’s what happened – Don’s son left his business partner, returned to the family fold and started taking legal action against the narcissist.


Having to Work With This Differently

Until you understand Quantum Law, you may think that what I am talking about is some new-age fluffy theory.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Our own awakening is to realise how intrinsically and powerfully our own emotional energy is connected to the entire field; especially to those we are bonded to through love.

I know that so many of you in the community are reporting to me that you are really ‘getting it’. There is such a big difference between receiving information and fully embodying it as truth. The latter is what grants you power.

If you are really getting this, I want you to pause this video and write below ‘the cells of my body really get this!’

Until now you may not have realised that through your care and concern you have actually been adding to the situation rather than resolving it. This is why you need to learn to go about this in a different way, and I know that you will be stunned and shocked (beautifully) when you start working at this from the inside out.

In the only way that can truly work – Quantumly.

I can’t recommend enough becoming a NARP member to help those who you love. The wonderful by-product is that, not only will you discover how much you can genuinely assist them, you will also discover your own unlimited expansion, resolutions and breakthroughs that previously only seemed to be a life dream.

To become a NARP member click this link.

And, if you enjoyed this video, and would like to be notified each time a new episode is released, then make sure that you subscribe to receive all of my updates.

Also, please share this episode with those you know who are agonising over what is happening to the people they love.

As always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.