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Paying Child Support & Alimony During COVID-19

child support

By Jadelyne Long
Litigation Attorney, Cordell & Cordell

Companies are laying off and furloughing employees across the county, with those furloughed unsure that they will be employed after the stay-at-home order is lifted in their state. These are common concerns many of our clients at Cordell & Cordell have presented us with due to the COVID-19 crisis.

With these worries, they may not have jobs to return to and consequently, they will not be able to pay their child support and/or alimony obligations. The unemployment rates in the past month have skyrocketed, all due to COVID-19.

If you are experiencing any of this, know that you have options, and we are here to help. Keep in mind that I am licensed in the state of Florida, so any tips are based on my legal experiences in that state.

I was furloughed from my employer for the next few months and cannot make payments during this time. What do I do?

Unfortunately, your child support and/or alimony obligations do not automatically stop if you can no longer afford to pay them. Additionally, if you do not pay child support, you can be held in contempt of court, your driver’s license can be suspended, you might be ordered to pay a purge amount or lump-sum payment, or a warrant can be issued for your arrest. These obligations continue unless and until they are modified by a court order.

If you are experiencing hardship and an inability to pay your child support or alimony obligation contact a family law attorney, like those at Cordell & Cordell. An attorney can help you with navigating your options to protect your interests in court.

The courts still are open and remotely conducting hearings. A motion can be filed requesting for a temporary abatement or hold, of your obligations during this time. You still should pay what you can during this time to show the court that you are making a good faith attempt to pay and not completely avoiding your court ordered obligation. If you can pay something, do it.

I was laid off from my job and cannot make the support obligations. I have applied for unemployment. What can I do?

To change or modify your obligation you must show a substantial change in the circumstances that were not foreseen at the time the original agreement or order was entered. If your circumstances become permanent and you are laid off, you can seek to modify your child support and/or alimony obligation by filing for a modification. However, the request for the modification only can be made from the time you filed for the modification.

Therefore, any changes cannot be retroactively made to the day you filed for the modification. For example, if you lost your job last month, but wait two months to file for a modification, the court only can modify your payments from the date you filed the modification, even though your income significantly was reduced two months prior.

Again, it always is suggested that you pay what you can, even if that means a portion of your unemployment income. Unemployment compensation also is considered income for purposes of calculating child support. You also should make an attempt to seek new employment and maintain record keeping of all job applications submitted as proof of your efforts.

The post Paying Child Support & Alimony During COVID-19 appeared first on Dads Divorce.

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COVID-19’s Effect on Child Support and Alimony Payments – Men’s Divorce Podcast

Can I pause child support arrears during the pandemic?

child support arrears

Question:

I lost my job due to the pandemic and already owe child support arrears. I know I can modify my child support order for payments moving forward but can I have those arrears paused during this time?

Answer:

I do not practice law in your state. Therefore, I cannot inform you as to the specific laws of your state, but I can provide you with general tips for this sort of issue.

You are correct regarding the fact that you can request a modification of your support payments moving forward. However, I do believe it is important that you are aware that, unfortunately, although a reduction in income is considered a change in circumstance, the court may not modify the amount or duration of support if it appears that the change in circumstance is considered temporary.

For example, there is case law that states that a 20-month reduction in income only was temporary, therefore a reduction in child support was not warranted. Further, the family court generally will not modify a support order, including pausing arrears, even during a modification time.

Additionally, the court puts the burden on the person requesting a change to notify the court of any change which could impact support. As such, the court will not know you have lost your employment until you file your modification petition. Therefore, your arrears balance will continue to accrue at the current level unless and until a modification is filed and granted, and I would recommend you file to modify your support as soon as possible.

However, if payment will become an issue for you, I would suggest contacting the enforcement unit and advising them of the change in your circumstances. You need to see if they would stay an enforcement proceeding against you, until your employment and income return to pre-pandemic levels.

While arrears still will accrue on the original amount, if the enforcement department is willing to stay any enforcement proceedings, this should mitigate any other actions against you, such as lack of payment being reported to credit agencies or incarceration for lack of payment.

However, please note this completely is within the discretion of the court, so I cannot guarantee that enforcement will not be sought against you. Also, I would strongly suggest that if you are able, you continue to pay the alimony at the level awarded, so you ensure that no enforcement proceedings are initiated.

Another alternative is to attempt to privately negotiate a temporary reduction in your arrears. If you and the opposing party can come to a private agreement, a stipulation, preferably prepared by an attorney, can be submitted to the court encapsulated the terms of the temporary agreement. Any stipulation modifying support/suspending arrears must be filed with the court. Otherwise, the original support order will continue to be in full force and effect, and the court will not know that the terms have been modified.

To arrange an initial consultation to discuss divorce rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, including Pennsylvania divorce attorney Caroline Thompsoncontact Cordell & Cordell.

The post Can I pause child support arrears during the pandemic? appeared first on Dads Divorce.

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COVID-19 And Divorce: Effective Child and Spousal Support Strategies

COVID-19 And Divorce: Effective Child and Spousal Support Strategies

Many guys across the United States are facing a severe economic strain due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Divorced fathers, in particular, are being hit hard as they try to figure out how they are going to make their child support payments.

 Cordell & Cordell’s latest Virtual Town Hall reviewed strategies men can utilize during this time to modify child support or alimony.

File quickly

In the town hall, Cordell & Cordell’s divorce attorneys explained the vital importance of filing quickly as to set a retroactive date that will lead to relief.

“They really should be looking county to county,” Cordell & Cordell Mississippi Litigation Attorney Jerrod Rayborn said. “Initially, with the filings for support or divorce, there was a big slowdown, but that has started to speed up.

“Depending on what county you are in, some counties you can go directly into the clerk and file it, and it’s done that day. Other counties, you have to leave it in a Dropbox.”

Gathering important information

When seeking a modification, it is your responsibility to help your divorce attorney as much as possibly by gathering relevant financial records.

“Whenever you file a motion to modify, whether you’re modifying alimony or modifying child support, you’re going to want information on not only your own finances, but what your ex is going through during this pandemic,” Cordell & Cordell Oklahoma Litigation Attorney Carly Haiduk said. “Issuing, even if it’s just a few discover requests, can be beneficial.”

Although the discovery process might seem a little invasive, it is important for proving to the court why a modification is necessary.

“Discovery is just the process for getting information from the other side,” Ms. Haiduk said. “For example, in Oklahoma, when you file a motion to modify, you can ask 30 questions under oath. You can ask your ex if she’s earning any extra income at this time. Is she on furlough? Did she get some sort of severance package?

“Getting all of that information, so you can use it in negotiations and present it to the court in your motion to modify.”

Modifying spousal support

The attorneys also noted that the process for modifying spousal support can sometimes be a little more difficult than child support.

“Your first step is going to be taking a look at the language in your marriage settlement agreement, in order to see if it’s modifiable or not modifiable,” Cordell & Cordell New Jersey Senior Litigation Attorney Michael Prasad said. “Even if the language in your agreement indicates that it is nonmodifiable, it’s still a good idea to consult with an attorney.

“Alimony obligations are modifiable based on the showing of a change in circumstance, and judges operate very differently from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, and even from county to county. Some judges may look at that and say ‘Well, you have a contract you entered into,’ and some judges and courts may look at the circumstances and see that the change in circumstances was unforeseeable.”

More information

Cordell & Cordell is continuing to produce weekly Virtual Town Halls and daily podcasts to answer your questions about how the pandemic is impacting family law. You can find a full library of content on this topic on the Cordell & Cordell COVID-19 and Divorce Information Hub.

The post COVID-19 And Divorce: Effective Child and Spousal Support Strategies appeared first on Dads Divorce.

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Can Child Support and Spousal Support be Changed After a Divorce is Final?

Can Child Support and Spousal Support be Changed After a Divorce is Final?

It’s a good idea to check with your lawyer every few years and ask the attorney to investigate the possibility of a modification in child support or maintenance.  

The post Can Child Support and Spousal Support be Changed After a Divorce is Final? appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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Covid Virus Economic Changes And Support Obligations In Ohio

Covid Virus Economic Changes And Support Obligations In Ohio

File a motion now, to either increase or decrease support, you won’t be able to file one later and “go back to now”

The post Covid Virus Economic Changes And Support Obligations In Ohio appeared first on Divorce Magazine.

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Can a Texas family court reduce an above guidelines child support obligation in an out-of-state Order?

Can a Texas family court reduce an above guidelines child support obligation in an out-of-state Order?

Originally published by The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC Blog.

One of the cool parts of being a family law attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan is that there is never a dull moment. There are always unique people with unique circumstances who walk through our door with questions about their lives and their families.

Like Texas, many other states lay out a specific percentage of a non-custodial parent’s income to pay in child support to the custodial parent. Texas has it that for one child, a non-custodial parent should pay 20% of their net monthly resources towards the support of that child. For two children, 25% would go towards child support. The percentages increase by increments of 5% until you reach five or more kids topping out at 40%. In this way, courts have a straightforward mechanism to be put into action for determining child support in most cases. It has become so predictable that the guideline levels of support will be implemented that most attorneys and clients don’t bat an eye when the issue of paying guideline support is raised.

Recently, a potential client presented a scenario where he and his wife were divorced in a state other than Texas, and after the divorce the man’s ex-wife and children had moved to Texas. The state that the children and ex-wife had previously lived in was a higher than average cost of living state and our potential client was ordered to pay child support that is above and beyond the “guideline” levels of support for that state.

Our potential client was thus left with a child support order that obligated him to pay an amount of child support that was above and beyond what is proscribed in the family code of his native state. When a judge decides regarding any subject that is related to a child, he or she must do so based on what is in the best interests of that child. This is a standard that most every state utilizes when applying the law towards the specific circumstances of a child and their family.

Based on the needs of that child, their current circumstances, the ability of their parents to provide the necessities of life and any medical/social/educational needs of that child, an amount of child support will be ordered. Whether the parties to the divorce agreed in mediation to that level of child support or a judge ordered that the amount be paid after a trial, the fact is that the current child support order for this man obligates him to pay an above guidelines level of support.

Where does the Law Office of Bryan Fagan come into play?

Here is where our office becomes relevant to the discussion. This gentleman contacted us about representing him in a child support modification case. His thoughts on the matter center around the reduced level of expenses that his ex-wife is responsible for now that his children live in the Great State of Texas. Having moved from another state whose cost of living is much higher than Texas, our potential client wanted to see what a judge would consider as far as reducing the above guidelines level of child support. Is there a basis in prior court cases to argue that an out of state child support order can be modified to see a reduction in the child support obligation based on circumstances like this?

Today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan will seek to answer that question. As I see it, there are two parts to this discussion that we have to tackle. The first is whether or not a Texas Court has the jurisdiction to modify an out of state child support order. The second is what basis in the law would a family court judge have to reduce the above guidelines level of child support when there has been a change in the cost of living associated with raising children.

When does a Texas court gain the jurisdiction to modify an out of state child support order?

There are a couple of ways that a child support order that comes from a court outside of Texas could be modified, potentially, by a Texas family court. The Texas Family Code states in section 159.613 that if both the child support obligor (parent who pays child support) and the oblige (parent who receives child support payments) and the child all reside in Texas then our state has attained jurisdiction over the case and may modify and/or enforce the out of state order.

Likewise, when only one party (parent) live in Texas, then a modification is possible even if both parents do not reside in Texas. This occurs when the parent bringing the modification cases (in our above scenario, the father) is not a resident of Texas and the responding party (the mother in our example) lives in Texas and is subject to personal jurisdiction in Texas. Here, too, a Texas family court would have jurisdiction over the case.

What have Texas courts stated about subject matter like this?

So now we at least have a basic understanding of how a Texas court gains the ability to make rulings regarding an order issued by an out of state court. The jurisdiction to do so is critically important. You may be in a situation like our potential client- having seen a change in circumstances that have materially affected your family since the issuing of that order. Thus, some portion of your prior order is no longer suitable for you or your children. However, if you cannot successfully argue to a Texas court that jurisdiction is proper in Texas you will not be able to make an argument about any of the facts and circumstances that justify a modification.

A fairly recent Texas state appellate court decision would further assist us in our discussion. In re Dennis J. Martinez, 450 S.W.3d 157 (2014) contains within it a good discussion of the relevant law regarding how and when an out of state court can lose jurisdiction over a case and its parties.

This court notes that in section 159.205 of the Texas Family Code, our state law provides only two ways in which a court may lose jurisdiction over a case and its parties about a family law matter. First, the obligor, the oblige, and the child would have to all move out of the state that issued the order (as we discussed previously). Another and less likely scenario would be that all individuals file written consents in Texas allowing a Texas court to assume jurisdiction and modify the other state’s order.

As noted above, the circumstances under which a court may modify a support decree from another state are found in section 159.611 of the Family Code. SeeTEX. FAM.CODE ANN. § 159.611. A modification is permitted by the non-rendering state under the circumstances outlined in section 159.611 because under such circumstances the rendering state no longer has a sufficient interest in the modification of its order.

If you are facing a situation like a gentleman who contacted us about potentially representing him in a child support modification case here in Texas, you need to consider whether or not a Texas court will even be able to hear your arguments and potentially grant you whatever relief you are requesting. Keep in mind that if you cannot clear this jurisdictional hurdle you won’t even get the opportunity to submit any of your arguments to the court as to why your child support order needs to be modified.

Can a Texas court grant a reduction in the child support obligation of a parent under an out of state order?

Here is the question that our potential client is interested in knowing the answer to. He wanted to find out what facts and circumstances would need to be in play that could lead to a court in Texas reducing his above guidelines level of child support that he is currently obligated to pay.

A modification of a child support order is warranted when the petitioning party (the person asking for the modification) can provide evidence showing a material and substantial change in the circumstances of one of the parties to the order or a child of the order. As the court in Tucker v. Tucker, 908 S.W.2d 530 (1995), notes, there is an inherent fact-finding nature of child support issues and the cases that are made up of those issues.

The high court in Texas was stating what every family law attorney worth his salt could tell you: that family law cases are extremely fact-specific. If you would like to modify a child support order then you will need to present facts clearly and concisely to the court. This means that your initial petition to the court and in your oral arguments inside of a modification hearing need to display the requisite level of material and substantial change needed to grant the modification.

Cost in living expenses has been a factor alleged by prior parties seeking child support modifications

Part of the analysis that your court will look at when considering whether or not to grant a child support modification is the expenses incurred by the custodial parent who is raising the children on a day to day basis. Remember- our potential client would like to make an argument that because his ex-wife and kids now live in Texas, with its lower cost of living than their native state, is no longer in need of a child support payment that is above the guidelines of his home state.

Costs associated with special education for your child, school tuition and things of this nature are relevant to our discussion. A court would look to the expenses of your ex-spouse to determine whether there is sufficient evidence in the record to compare the expenses of her and your children at the time that the original child support order was issued and what the expenses are now. This means that you will need to do some digging to produce this kind of evidence, especially if the child support order is from a decade ago.

In the case, In the Interest of C.C.J. and C.M.J, Minor Children, 244 S.W.3d 911 (2008), the court went over a good analysis when that has to be shown to a court to justify a modification:

To determine whether there has been a material and substantial change in circumstances, the trial court must examine and compare the circumstances of the parents and any minor children at the time of the initial order with the circumstances existing at the time modification is sought. London v. London, 192 S.W.3d at 15. 

In that case, the parent who was attempting to modify the prior court order was the mother. She was arguing for an increase in the level of child support based on a material and substantial change in the circumstances of her and her children. Her expenses, she attempted to argue, had increased dramatically in recent years, while the income of her ex-husband had increased. The evidence she presented, the court determined was insufficient to justify an increase in child support. Here is what the appellate court determined:

Here, without both historical and current evidence of the financial circumstances of Mother and the children, the trial court had nothing to compare. See id. Because there is no evidence in the record of the financial circumstances of Mother or the children at the time of the entry of the divorce decree, we conclude the trial court’s finding of “a substantial and material change of circumstances since the rendition of the prior order” is not supported by the record. Accordingly, we conclude the trial court abused its discretion in increasing Father’s monthly child support obligation.

What does the Texas Family Code have to say about a decrease in the needs of a child about child support?

The Texas Family Code states that an increase in the needs, the standard of living, or lifestyle of the oblige since the rendition of the existing order does not warrant an increase in the obligor’s child support obligation. Texas Family Code section 156.405. I would also argue that the opposite could also be potentially held by a Texas court. Specifically that an argument that a decrease in the needs, the standard of living or lifestyle of the custodial parent is not necessarily a reason in and of itself to modify a child support obligation.

A Texas case that is important for our purposes is In the Interest of J.A.H. and M.K.H, Children, 311 S.W.3d 536 (2009). Here, as in the prior case we discussed, a mother was attempting to argue that an increase in her expenses due to a change in the cost of living after a move justified an increase in the child support obligation of her ex-husband. What the court found, in this case, was that all of the evidence submitted by the mother tended to show that there had been a change in her circumstances rather than a change in a substantial change in the circumstances of her children.

The court argued that simply showing a change in lifestyle and not a material or substantial change in circumstances of the children does not in and of itself justify a modification of the child support order. If you attempt to argue that because your ex-spouse’s mortgage payment has decreased or that their utility bills are lower and that justifies a decrease in the child support obligation, then this case should give you pause.

How are the needs of your child taken into account by a court?

Specifically, to justify an award of child support above the guidelines outlined in the Texas Family Code, your ex-spouse must show that there would be needs of your child that would be unmet but for the higher than guidelines level of support. Rodriguez v. Rodriguez, 860 S.W.2d 414, 417 (Tex. 1993). Note that the needs of your child are not the bare necessities of life, either. Each court will decide as to what the needs of your child are. Like we mentioned earlier in this blog post, the facts of your case will guide the judge in large part.

The bottom line: if you wish to modify a child support order come with plenty of evidence

Whether yours is an out of state child support order or an order that originates in Texas, you need to come to court with plenty of evidence that justifies the modification request A family court judge has the authority to reduce a level of child support that is currently set above the guidelines of your home state, but to earn that decrease in the support obligation you have to submit sufficient proof showing a change in the conditions of your spouse, your children or you. A material and substantial change regarding the cost of living is a trickier argument to make than one based on a change in your income or an increase (or decrease) in the educational or medical needs of your child.

Please consider contacting the Law Office of Bryan Fagan if you have questions about today’s material. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultations six days a week where we can answer your questions in a comfortable and pressure free environment.

Curated by Texas Bar Today. Follow us on Twitter @texasbartoday.



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COVID-19’s Effect on Child Support and Alimony Payments – Men’s Divorce Podcast

COVID-19’s Effect on Child Support and Alimony Payments – Men’s Divorce Podcast

DadsDivorce sponsor, Cordell & Cordell, is producing a podcast series examining how the Coronavirus pandemic is affecting specific family law issues.

Each week, the firm is hosting a free weekly webinar about COVID-19 and divorce. In the podcast, Cordell & Cordell divorce attorneys dive deeper into one of the specific topics covered in the webinar.

In the latest episode, Cordell & Cordell CEO Scott Trout and divorce attorney Will Halaz III examine how child support and alimony payments might be affected by the pandemic.

Across the country, employees are being laid off and furloughed as businesses take hits due to stay-at-home and quarantine orders. What happens if you face a sudden dramatic change in your income or employment status but are still facing monthly child support or alimony payments?

Mr. Trout and Mr. Halaz discuss this topic and more in the latest episode.

Click the link below to listen to the full episode. Also make sure to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or whichever podcast app you prefer.

The post COVID-19’s Effect on Child Support and Alimony Payments – Men’s Divorce Podcast appeared first on Dads Divorce.

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What goes into an award of spousal support here in Texas?

What goes into an award of spousal support here in Texas?

Originally published by On behalf of Laura Dale.

Very few people come out of a divorce without some financial impact. Any time the same income must stretch over two households instead of one, both parties will experience some adjustments to their finances.

What the courts want to make sure of is that one of you doesn’t experience a significant drop in income while the other party receives an unfair financial advantage. Under these circumstances, spousal support may be appropriate.

How do the courts come up with the amount needed?

Of course, the first hurdle for anyone requesting spousal support is to prove a need exists. After you show that you do not earn enough to support yourself without help, the court will then assess how much you need in order to make up for the difference between what you bring in and what you need for support. Below are generalities regarding what the law says about amount and how long you will receive spousal support:

  • You could receive either up to 20% of your former spouse’s gross income or $5,000, whichever is less.
  • If you or one of your children who resides primarily with you has a disability, you could receive spousal support indefinitely since your need may not end.
  • If you were married for at least 30 years, you could receive alimony for up to 10 years.
  • If you were married between 20 and 30 years, your alimony will more than likely end after a maximum of seven years.
  • If your marriage lasted between 10 and 20 years, you may receive spousal support for up to five years.
  • If your spouse was abusive and you were married less than 10 years, you could receive alimony for no more than five years.

Within the confines of these limits, you and your future former spouse may not agree on duration and amount. If that happens, you will need to present evidence to the court to support your position, whether you are the one needing spousal support or the one who may end up paying it.

You don’t have to go it alone

Nothing less than your financial future is at stake regardless of which side of the issue you are on, so it would be wise to enlist some experienced legal assistance for help. An attorney knowledgeable in Texas law will provide you with an understanding of your rights and an explanation of what you face, along with your legal options.

Curated by Texas Bar Today. Follow us on Twitter @texasbartoday.



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The Coronavirus Pandemic – My Thoughts and Support

The Coronavirus Pandemic – My Thoughts and Support

 

There is no more pressing issue today than the Coronavirus pandemic that is sweeping the planet. And all of us are heartbroken by the ravages it is inflicting on our societies.

Most of us in every country in the world are now confined to our homes, with our families; doing everything we can to stay healthy and sane and not crumble from fear.

But what about those people who are stuck indoors long term with a narcissist, with nowhere to go, wondering if they will survive this catastrophe.

In today’s Thriver TV episode I want to show you the common threads between narcissism and the Coronavirus outbreak and how to help yourself get through this crisis.

And, of course, offer you my loving support through this unifying human ordeal.

 

 

Video Transcript

Today I want to talk to you about the coronavirus pandemic.

Never before, in our lifetimes, have we experienced such a crisis. Most of us never believed such a situation could ever happen.

Individuals, entire communities and systems are crumbling.

I know many of you have lost your job and are now faced with all sorts of hardships.

You may be stuck with narcissists right now, in quarantine, not knowing how you can survive this.

And, there are many of you who have your children being kept away from you by narcissists because of the Coronavirus situation.

What does all this mean?

What is it showing us?

How can we respond?

I really hope I can share with you how I feel about the Coronavirus pandemic in today’s Thriver TV episode.

 

The Correlation Between This Situation and Narcissistic Abuse

It’s incredible how many correlations there are between what is happening right now and experiencing narcissistic abuse.

I know that many of you are now going through both situations simultaneously.

All of it triggers fear.

Lots of fear.

Which brings up the feelings of being powerless, helpless and not having control in the situation. Here, just like with narcissistic abuse, you don’t have control. You have no idea of a timeline, outcome, where this will end up, and the state you will be in when it is finished.

Of course, this is terrifying.

 

The True Solution to Out of Control Situations

The most important thing, now and always, when you don’t have any control over the outside, is to take your power back on the inside.

In times of overwhelm, horror, and literal survival programs being triggered, when your life and hopes for the future are being threatened, it may feel impossible to become fearless. Especially when horrible things have happened or are happening or could happen.

Regardless, the most important work is to lose the fear.

Before narcissistic abuse and Thriver Recovery, I would have said to you that it is impossible to lose the fear unless something on the outside changes so that there is nothing to fear anymore.

Now I know that this is not the way that Quantum Creation works.

I have seen it, so many times in my life and in other people’s lives, that regardless of how shocking things are, when you turn inside to lose the fear and start to value the state of your emotional soul health over and above everything else, that the most incredible synchronicity, solutions and support can appear.

As a profound shift.

Even when logically, no support seems possible.

You see, your superconscious self, teamed up with every available permutation that exists in “life”, has “a way”.

God/Source/Life is unlimited. There are no limits regarding what this Force can create.

In times of great crisis, we are being pushed to become extraordinary.

What is occurring is incredibly crippling, causing devastation to so many individuals and groups of people, in ways that we could never imagine previously.

I know this is huge. I know this is one of the biggest calls ever to lose the trauma and the fear of what is happening right now. And I know that you may have already been smashed by this. And my heart goes out to you in spades.

However, I know that this is what we are being pushed to do right now. We are being called to create an extraordinary emotional, empowered uprising that could not only change your life forever as a result of what you’re going through but also significantly up-level our world.

Those of you who are now Thriving after being narcissistically abused have already made the Quantum Switch.

Meaning, emotionally from the inside out, you created your own personal breakthrough into your values, truths and the health of your soul regardless of the insane, seemingly unstoppable brutal treatment you received from the narcissist.

Against all logical and “reality” odds, you then experienced your passage from the bowels of hell into the glory of your True Self and True Life.

Even when you were diagnosed with health conditions such as C-PTSD and other diminished realities, such as other devastating health conditions, financial annihilation and accumulated losses on horrific levels, that you were told you would never recover from.

You didn’t just recover, you burst forth into a Self and Life that was more buoyant, confident, healthier and expanded than the life you were experiencing even before you went through narcissistic abuse.

Why?

Because, rather than try to deal with the narcissistic environment that was out-of-control and uncontrollable, or stay focused on the devastation that it brought you, you turned inside to release all of your trauma that was inside you to come home to a solidness, power and faith within yourself that was unshakeable, and literally unstoppable.

This was the dedication, to resurrect your inner world, even when your outer world lay in tatters at your feet.

As you stepped into your soul graduation of Who You Really Are, the narcissist lost all power over you, and a whole new world of possibility, synchronicity and miracle came into view.

Then you understood the truth, that within the experience that you know as your life every permutation is available, regardless of how circumstances seem. What presents in your experience, as your experience, is the match of the inner experience that you consciously cultivate.

When you lose your fear and become emotionally solid, even before anything shifted outside of you changes, even when there is no way … a way must appear.

It’s Quantum Law – so within, so without.

From every cell within my being, know that the same truth exists here within this pandemic, regardless of outer evidence.

This is the Thriver Way.

This is how we discover just how powerful we are.

The incredible irony is, in non-extraordinary times we are never pushed to find this gear. Often, we just cruise along because there are too many distractions keeping us away from shifting into our true power, and quite frankly there is no urgent necessity to.

The greatest evolution is usually brought on by the times when we are the most powerless, terrified and helpless. It’s by overcoming our inner deepest fears, that we mine our most spectacular gold.

Narcissists push us to do that.

So do global pandemics.

 

A Beautiful and Powerful Channelled Message

I want to share with you something that was sent to me just recently. Its origin is from Jeff Vander Clute who is CEO of “Sourcing the Way”. Jeff is a visionary and channel for World-Changing Times.

This is what Jeff shared:

“After listening to people talk about the Coronavirus for weeks, I had the inspiration to tune into this novel life form and ask it to tell me about itself. What came through was a list of its top-five gifts, followed by a message for humanity. I will admit to being somewhat surprised by the information. My hope is that these words will help people to trust that life is acting with benevolent wisdom.

The gifts of the virus:

1) Slowing down humanity’s frenetic activities
2) Activating networks of cooperation
3) Spreading helpful DNA
4) Upgrading humanity’s immune system
5) Creating the conditions for peace and well-being

Here is the message that the Coronavirus had to share:

My friends, it is true that I am here to bring closure to the inharmonious ways of being that are causing harm to humans and the whole web of life. All the same, I am not a vengeful being or anything that is intended to be destructive. I am simply the rebalancing agent in the overall equation of life’s evolutionary process. By fighting me with fear in your hearts, you oppose the larger natural systems and cause me to take other forms.

What I am, and my fundamental purpose, will not be deterred, for I am life itself acting through the available forms of distribution. The virus that you see me as is one of an endless series of permutations. This kind of process is one of the ways I innovate life forms and deliver new DNA sequences that will eventually be shown to be helpful. The back and forth between humanity’s collective immune system and the virus is raising consciousness as humans examine their interactions, and it is literally increasing the intelligence of the superorganism that is the species as a whole.

These tests are normal. I repeat: These tests are normal. For those who can hear this message and embrace me easily, you already know that fear is a much more lethal poison. For those who will not be comforted by these words, one day you will know that I come as an act of love. When you can open to the love that is at the very heart of this situation, the crisis that your media and governments decry will transform into a flower of life, spreading new consciousness and multiplying circles of cooperation. Pay attention to your thoughts and see if you can identify the benefits of redirecting humanity’s attention from incessant wars and violence to the common “enemy” that I am willing to be perceived as.

Love will go this far, and farther, to bring healing to the mind of a young species that is still in the process of remembering itself as a divine incarnation. Yes, you are a divine incarnation capable of fabricating realities based on goodness and beauty and compassionate understandings, actions, and beliefs. Believe me when I say that I, too, am here as an act of compassion. Accepting me in this way will lighten your heavy burden for the divine sends only love your way. Sometimes this love takes curious forms in order to circumvent your intricate defenses against waking up to your own glory. I can assure you that the most functional strategy will be to embrace me as a friend of the human family.”

I truly hope that Jeff’s message has been able to bring some love and relief to you.

 

We Are All in This Together

When being narcissistically abused you may have felt like you were going through this alone. That is why this community is so incredible because we have, or are, all going through this together.

And now, we really are all in this together.

As humanity itself.

And, as Jeff so beautifully channelled, rather than distrust and fight and war with each other, we now have the opportunity to come together.

We can anchor into love, kindness and the recognition of what is really important.

We have the ability to reach out and assist in this situation. We can offer a helping hand, an act of benevolence, the sharing of our resources and our loving support.

We can be kind. We can demonstrate Love itself.

And, we can sign up to our most important mission that we ever have as a human being in our time on this planet. Which is overcoming the fear and pain within the only person who we have the power to do that with, ourselves, to become and lead the way as a loving, empowered solution for ourselves and others.

When our personal life can no longer go on as normal, we can no longer avoid, ignore or make excuses for the parts of ourselves which are not working, that we didn’t want to confront. Or the patterns and people in our life who are not representative of our values and health, and any false trajectories that we are living that are not true for us.

These times signal a season of profound personal catharsis, as an incredible growth and evolutionary opportunity.

In this time of deep incubation and unavoidable triggered emotional trauma, our Inner Beings deeply need our attention to emotionally integrate and heal.

I know that these times are tough. Hard beyond measure, and terrifying in ways that we’ve never had to experience before.

Yet, I also know that in the greatest fear lies the brightest gold and that so many of us, myself and every other activated Thriver in this community, is deeply dedicated to going for gold.

There is nothing else to do if we want to save our own lives emotionally, and possibly literally, as well as enhance everyone we love and everything we touch.

Losing our fear and becoming peace and power is the only thing to do, to help birth, through us, a brand-new world.

I know that we have the power to do this, one person at a time.

If this deeply resonates with you, and you know you have to find another way to get through this, I want to help you achieve your powerful passage through this.

Please come into my free webinar.

In this webinar, I take you through how to recover from the fear and pain of narcissistic abuse, and I want you to understand that what I’m sharing is exactly relevant to overcoming the fear and powerlessness with the Coronavirus pandemic as well.

It’s exactly the same healing that’s required.

It’s all about purging the fear and taking back your power.

I really hope that this has helped, and my heart and love go out to you in spades.

And I can’t wait to connect with you with my love and support in your comments and questions below.

 

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