DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVOR: Woman in dark room, word survivor written across her image

Domestic Violence: a Societal Ill, An Injustice, a Cultural Failing

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVOR: Woman in dark room, word survivor written across her image


When I look at myself in the mirror on a good day, I can console myself with the knowledge that I have earned every single wrinkle and bag because I am a survivor. On a bad day, I see my metaphorical scarlet letter, “S” for shame, prominently displayed on my forehead.

Most days, even the word “survivor” doesn’t sit well with me. A survivor implies strength. A survivor implies courage. Can I accept those accolades? How can I feel courageous when I feel as if I am the one to blame?

Like so many survivors of divorce and domestic violence, the fatal allure of self-blame is hard to escape. Despite guidance from my support group and knowing deep down in my heart that it isn’t true, I still hear the nagging whispers of blame and shame. And understandably so.

Domestic Violence: a Societal Ill, An Injustice, a Cultural Failing

This voice developed from the familiar chorus of well-meaning acquaintances, law enforcement, and the legal system. Anthems of “he was such a nice guy,” “why didn’t you see the red flags,” “well, there are 3 sides to every story,” and “both parents have issues” drown out voices of peace and comfort.

And my ex-husband was masterful at finding me guilty for the most absurd infractions, leaving me to wallow alone in my misery.

Blame and shame quickly became my new best friends.

But blame and shame have no room in a life that is repairing, restoring, and reclaiming itself. I reached out to friends and family desperately seeking answers to my questioning of where I went wrong. One response appealed to my rational side.

This came from my uncle who is the closest person, genetically and emotionally, to my own deceased father. It was in one of his text messages that I felt the comforting words that my own father could have said.

He reaffirmed that I had done absolutely nothing to deserve this and that neither misjudgment nor poor self-image brought the abuse upon me. He said the blame rests on the ignorance of male chauvinism that pervades many cultures.

The gravity of this statement did not go unnoticed. This issue was larger than any single relationship. It affected each and every woman. With my uncle’s words, the “S” on my forehead was starting to fade.

My personal shame faded away as incensement rose to the foreground. I realized that all women potentially faced a fate similar to mine, even my young daughter. This was a societal ill, an injustice, a cultural failing that allowed the undercurrent of misogyny to survive.

These beliefs infiltrated our communities, popular culture, and our homes.

I started to finally give myself permission to focus on impacting the future instead of second-guessing the past.

Slowly, the tired phrases of self-blame were replaced with the acknowledgment that I did not make a mistake when I married my ex, that he wasn’t a nice guy, and that in abuse, truth is the only side to the story. I could finally tell myself that this mess was not my fault.

The difference was this time I believed it. The “S” was almost unnoticeable now. As in The Scarlet Letter, “She did not know the weight until she felt her freedom.” I never realized how much shame was holding me back.

We are not drawn to our abusers.

They exist because our current culture makes it very easy for them. And it’s time we make it harder. It’s time we shift our culture from that of a hierarchy to that of equal members of the same team.

It’s time that from an early age, males and females learn to respect each other at home, school, and work. My heart is full of hope for the future, but I understand that it will not come easily. We have a power within us that our abusers underestimated.

But first, we must free ourselves of the burden of shame and realize that we are survivors.

And so, when I look in the mirror today, I see a woman who has triumphed. And my face is not the only reflection I see. I see the millions of women who have suffered and prevailed.

Their story is my story.

Their struggle is your struggle.

And best of all, their victory is for all of us.

The post Domestic Violence: a Societal Ill, An Injustice, a Cultural Failing appeared first on Divorced Moms.


COVID-19 AND DOMESTIC ABUSE: Woman with black eye holding help sign

Stay-At-Home Orders and COVID-19: A Nightmare For Victims of Domestic Violence

COVID-19 AND DOMESTIC ABUSE: Woman with black eye holding help sign


It’s not always obvious that you are in an abusive relationship. Many times in abusive relationships the victim will believe they are to blame or deserve the abuse.

The recent global pandemic has brought couples closer than ever.

Unfortunately, closeness can be a hell behind closed doors for victims of domestic violence.

 “Stay at Home” Orders: A Living Hell For Victims of Domestic Violence

According to Katie Ray-Jones, the CEO of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, perpetrators are threatening to throw their victims out on the street so they get sick. They are also using this time in isolation to withhold financial or medical resources or medical assistance.

Times of social distancing and isolation can be an opportunity for an abuser to unleash violence on their victim. According to recent reports, since the “stay at home” orders have been issued, the YWCA, a non-profit organization for victims of domestic violence, reports that they have seen a 50% increase in calls.

This is an important reminder that not everyone is safer at home.

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

According to the World Health Organization, one in three women will experience sexual or physical violence in their lifetime. It can happen in times of peace and stability, but domestic abuse can elevate when crisis strikes.

Abuse can be any action, physical or emotional, that is cruel and violent or intended to cause harm to someone. The first step to seeking help for abuse is knowing what signs to look for.


Jealousy has no place in a healthy relationship. Many times in abusive relationships jealousy will start off as a minor annoyance, but can quickly escalate into a daily problem.

The first signs of jealousy can be to gradually isolate you from family and friends. Jealousy can also include constantly accusing you of cheating or flirting with other people.

Possessiveness and Control 

When possessiveness and control rear its ugly head in a relationship, the outcome can be extremely damaging to a person’s mental health. Constant “check-ins” on your whereabouts and who you are with can be the main sign that your partner is possessive or controlling. In addition, a possessive partner will try to control where you go and who you see.

Signs of Possessive or controlling behavior include:

  • Checking your phone or computer without your permission
  • Constant calling you or texting you and asking who you are with
  • Constantly putting you down
  • Explosive temper
  • Mood swings
  • Gaslighting

Physical Violence

Physical abuse is any intentional forced and unwanted contact with you or something close to you. Sometimes abusive behavior doesn’t cause any pain or cruises, but it can have a lasting emotional impact.

Examples of Physical Abuse:

  • Scratching, punching, biting, strangling or kicking.
  • Throwing something at you such as a phone, book, shoe or plate.
  • Pulling your hair.
  • Pushing or pulling you.
  • Grabbing your clothing.
  • Using a gun, knife, box cutter, bat, mace or another weapon.
  • Smacking your bottom without your permission or consent.
  • Forcing you to have sex or perform a sexual act.
  • Grabbing your face to make you look at them.
  • Grabbing you to prevent you from leaving or to force you to go somewhere.

Sexual Abuse 

Sexual violence refers to crimes like sexual assault, rape, and sexual abuse. Typically, a partner who is physically violent is also sexually abusive. Intimate partner assault and rape are intended to intimidate, control and demean victims of domestic violence.

According to, The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)’s, “Women who are sexually abused by intimate partners suffer severe and long-lasting physical and mental health problems, similar to those of other rape victims. They have higher rates of depression and anxiety than women who were either raped by a non-intimate partner or physically but not sexually abused by an intimate partner.”

Get Help Immediately 

Toxicity in relationships usually gets worse, if you find yourself in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, it’s important to know you are not alone.

Domestic violence advocates are urging women who are not in forced quarantine or isolation to seek help immediately. For victims already in isolation, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is rapidly working to develop strategies to help those who are in lockdown.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline via text or call at 1-800-799-7233.

The post Stay-At-Home Orders and COVID-19: A Nightmare For Victims of Domestic Violence appeared first on Divorced Moms.


truths about domestic violence

5 Truths About Domestic Violence And Abusive Relationships

truths about domestic violence


Domestic violence and abuse are becoming an epidemic in today’s culture. It is estimated that 38,028,000 women will experience physical intimate partner violence at some point during their lives.

Men can fall victim to abusive relationships as well. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1 in 10 American men have experienced physical violence, stalking, or rape inflicted by a partner. Another 1 in 7 men will be the victims of severe physical abuse at the hand of a romantic partner.

Whether the perpetrator is male or female, studies show that abusers often share the same traits of aggression, mood swings, no self-control, severe jealousy, and high rates of suspicion.

Are you or someone you know experiencing domestic violence and abuse? Here are 5 sobering facts about abusive relationships and what you can do to help.

5 Truths About Domestic Violence

TRUTH #1. It’s More Common Than We Think

Many people have a caricatured version of who they believe to be in an abusive relationship and that the abusive is obvious. That one spouse will be constantly yelling at their partner, or that bruises or other signs of physical abuse are apparent.

Perhaps they believe people in abusive relationships are from a lower socioeconomic background. But this simply isn’t true.

One sad truth about domestic violence and abuse is that they are much more common than one might think. It happens to children, teenagers, and adults, with nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experiencing physical abuse from a romantic partner each and every year.

It is estimated that 11,766 American women are killed every year by their husbands or boyfriends, which is more than the war in Afghanistan and Iraq combined.

Abusive relationships are common and it’s time to shed some light on the truth.

TRUTH #2. Your Spouse Becomes Extremely Possessive and Controlling

As mentioned at the onset, jealousy is a common trait of abusive relationships. Partners seek to control their spouse to prevent them from cheating. Abusers may use the following tactics to control their spouse:

  • Isolating spouse from friends and family in fear that close associates will help the victim leave the toxic relationship.
  • Threatening self-harm if a partner says they are ending the relationship
  • Resorting to physical violence to prevent a partner from socializing
  • Forcing a partner to quit their job so that they are financially reliant on the abuser

Such behavior can be traumatizing to the victim. It is estimated that 81% of women experiencing stalking, physical violence, or rape by an intimate partner will end up being injured physically or will develop some form of post-traumatic stress disorder.

TRUTH #3. Abuse is More than Physical Violence

Physical abuse is clear to define. It occurs when one partner acts violently toward the other. Slapping, kicking, grabbing, pushing, beating, or using a weapon against a partner is clear-cut, unacceptable behavior.

But one truth about abusive relationships is that abuse hardly ends with physical violence.

Emotional abuse is a common method of control done by an abuser. Emotional abuse can take the form of insults, demeaning speech, making a partner feel crazy or stupid, bipolar mood swings, blaming a partner for poor behavior, and using religion or guilt to force a partner to stay.

Statistics show that 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men have been raped in their lifetime. This is a facet of an abusive relationship.

Sexual abuse is marked by any unwanted sexual advances or forced intercourse. Sexual control is another form of abuse, perhaps making a partner watch adult films or participate in sexual acts they are uncomfortable with. Refusing to allow a partner to practice safe sex or sexually humiliating or degrading a partner also fall under sexual abuse.

Domestic violence and abuse can also involve withholding food, shelter, and finances from a spouse.

TRUTH #4. Not all Abusive Relationships are Obvious

While it’s true that some abusers may be negative, controlling, uncaring people, many have positive qualities that draw victims in.

Abusers are commonly charming, loving individuals who will apologize for their bad behavior only to repeat it time and again. In some cases, the abuse may not start for some time. It may even be years. An abusive relationship may start off as loving and wonderful as the start of any normal relationship. This is what makes abusers so hard to spot.

TRUTH #5. Leaving Is Hard

Often, when one hears the intimate details of an abusive relationship they will ask “Why didn’t he/she just leave?”

The truth is, abusers, do not make it easy for their partners to leave the relationship. They have physically or mentally beaten down the victim until their self-esteem is nonexistent.

A spouse may feel they are not capable of leaving. Their abuser has told them that this is the best they will ever be able to do in life or may withhold finances, their children, or other provisions to prevent a separation from occurring.

It is also common for an abuser to enter a honeymoon phase after abuse has occurred. They may be on their best behavior for a time, apologizing to the wounded spouse and promising to change their ways.

A victim’s forgiving nature or love for their spouse may compel them to stay and help their partner.

Research indicates that a victim will attempt to leave an abusive relationship 7 times before leaving for good.

Leaving an abusive situation can be very dangerous, especially for women, with most violence and deaths occurring during an attempt to leave.

Visit the Domestic Violence Intervention Program for an extensive checklist for leaving an abusive relationship in the safest way possible.

Has your relationship turned toxic? It may be in your best interest to consider separation in marriage. Put the safety of you or your children first by getting out of an aggressive and unhealthy home. If you need help getting out of an abusive situation, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text 1-800-787-3224

The post 5 Truths About Domestic Violence And Abusive Relationships appeared first on Divorced Moms.


male victims of domestic violence

The Surprising Truth About Male Victims Of Domestic Violence

male victims of domestic violence

Domestic violence — and allegations of violence — can be one of the most toxic issues in contested divorces. Too often, rightly or wrongly, they are likely to result in fathers getting shut out of their children’s lives and men having to make larger child support and alimony payments.

standard scenario — from courtrooms to movies — is that the husband has been
physically and verbally abusive, scaring and hurting his wife, often in front
of their children. He’s the goon, and his wife deserves to be rid of him.

many women do tragically end up victims of domestic violence, but there are two
other scenarios that can be just as true, yet receive little attention.

The first is that allegations of domestic violence are what some family law attorneys call “the nuclear option.” Lawyers tell their clients to file papers to get an order of protection if they say they feel fear, and as a way to strengthen their case.

if their husband raises his voice — no matter who started the fight — divorcing
might call the police. Within minutes, a squad car will show up and, without
listening to both parties, an officer will tell the husband to get his shaving
kit and clothes and then escort him off the property.

It has been estimated that 85 percent of protective orders are entered against men, with most being used tactically to get the upper hand in a divorce. Aside from the effect that these orders can have on child custody, property division, and payments to an ex-wife, men who are innocent are stigmatized and records of these orders can be found by employers or when looking for a job.

it’s the second scenario that is the least discussed. This is when the wife is
the abusive or violent spouse, hitting their husbands, throwing things at them,
destroying their belongings, spewing so many four-letter words that a hardened
criminal would blush, and even pulling weapons on them. 

One in four men (compared to one in seven women) experience “severe physical intimate partner violence,” according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). And this doesn’t include verbal or other forms of abusive behavior. The Mayo Clinic has also written about domestic violence against men.

While interviewing men for my book, “Man Out: Men on the Sidelines of American Life,” I heard many disturbing stories. A mother told me that her son had almost been killed by his ex-wife and fled to her house. One man recalled how his wife threw glasses and plates at him and was verbally abusive to his son from his first marriage; then, if it weren’t so troubling it would be funny, she smashed the cat’s water bowl by using it as a weapon.

don’t we hear more about men who are victims — either in court or in the media?

There are a number of reasons: 1) Men are more likely to commit the most heinous acts. 2) Most advocates against domestic violence have been women’s groups. 3) Centuries of storytelling, from Othello to Hannibal Lecter, have reinforced the narrative that men are the attackers and women are the victims. 4) Law enforcement almost automatically makes this assumption. 5) Many a man feels like a “sissy” to report that the bruise on his face came from a punch by his wife, which also suggests that the CDC data may underestimate the real toll.

what should men do? First, don’t be afraid to report to the police any
incidents or patterns of violence and abuse by your wife toward you or your

evidence: Take photos of a bruise or scratch, a punched-in wall, or broken
glass. If possible, record the audio on your smart phone.

there are witnesses, ask them if they can describe what they have seen or heard
to the police or your lawyer. Write down in detail what happened (or has been

your own protective order. If your children have been abused, gather any
evidence you can and protect your kids.

is especially important since police and courts often disbelieve men who say
that they have been victimized by their wives. Tell your attorney, who can use
this information to help your case. 

no man or woman should be a victim of violence or other abusive behavior, if it
happens to you, documenting and reporting it can be critically important to
your divorce case and can make a big difference when it comes to custody and
financial matters.

Andrew L. Yarrow, a former New York Times reporter and history professor, discusses these and related issues in his recent book, Man Out: Men on the Sidelines of American Life.

The post The Surprising Truth About Male Victims Of Domestic Violence appeared first on Dads Divorce.


domestic violence and children

Domestic Violence And Children: What Is The Impact?

domestic violence and children


Domestic Violence should never be taken lightly. While the severity may range, it doesn’t take away from the seriousness of the situation. The way victims choose to respond varies as well. Some victims wait before seeking help, others may immediately look for guidance, and unfortunately, some may never even report the incident(s). It’s important to let those victims know though that there is support out there.

By allowing an abusive relationship to continue, you could be putting yourself and your family in an even worse position. When victims opt to not ask for help, it not only puts them in a bad situation but their children as well. We don’t always acknowledge how children tend to be indirect victims when it comes to domestic violence. Even if the kids aren’t the target for physical or abusive behavior in the home, they can still suffer socially and psychologically.

If you or someone you know is suffering through domestic violence with kids at home, it’s important to know there are people ready to help. Taking legal action can only benefit you and your kids when it comes to escaping the cruelties of domestic violence in the home.

Domestic Violence and Children Who Witness It

While victims of domestic violence take the brunt of the abuse, kids living in the home will suffer also. This is why getting in touch with a divorce lawyer is extremely important. While it may not always be physical, just being present during a negative situation can lead to problems in the future. The effect of observing domestic violence has on kids ranges. If your kids are living in a home with domestic violence, they may end up with some of the following issues:

  • They could develop their own violent tendencies
    • To others or even themselves
  • Experience feelings of anxiety and depression
  • Displaying delinquent behavior
    • Such as aggression towards their peers and family members
  • Struggle developing social skills
  • Stunted development of their motor and cognitive skills
  • Delays in speech development

While it may not be apparent to your child what’s actually going on, it will eventually begin to impact them negatively. Which will lead them to struggle in their adult lives. Issues the involve feeling safe or even forming relationships may arise as they grow up. They could also end up in abusive relationships themselves, due to the secrets and hush tendencies they witnessed in their homes throughout their adolescence.

The age difference:

Keep in mind that the negative effects we previously discussed may not always occur, depending on the age of your child. The stage of life your child is experiencing or witnessing abuse can lead to different issues or needs. For example, an infant who is present during an episode of domestic violence may experience attachment issues. This could lead to excessive crying as well as eating and sleeping difficulties.

Whereas a preschool-aged child may experience different effects after being present during episodes of domestic violence. At this stage of the child’s life, they are in need of protection and stability, which normally would be provided by their parent. Unfortunately though, when they live in a home where domestic violence is common, these needs become disrupted causing further emotional and physical outbursts.

Contact a lawyer:

In most cases of domestic abuse, there are legitimate grounds for divorce, especially if there are children are involved. As long as the victim(s) are actively reporting the incidents, they’ll have the right to leave the violent offender. By contacting a lawyer, you’ll obtain full custody of your children or child.

If you, or someone you know, is a married victim of domestic violence, with children there is a team of attorneys ready to help. A qualified professional can help you take action towards ending the abuse going on in your home by initiating the divorce process in a safe manner.

The post Domestic Violence And Children: What Is The Impact? appeared first on Divorced Moms.



Domestic Violence: How to Ruin Your Ex's Life and Make Your Lawyer Rich

Nicole Ford (above), Elise Mitchell (right), depicted in new art display for failing victims of Domestic Violence. 

Journalists and Victims Threatened by 49ers to Stay Silent on Domestic Violence. 

Silicon Valley artists target Santa Clara County divorce lawyers: Nicole Ford, Elise Mitchell, Hector Moreno, Leah Amini, Walter Hammon Valerie Houghton,  and Bradford Baugh  for failing to protect victims of domestic violence and falsely prosecuting innocent parents in divorce cases to earn more money. Complaints  allege these lawyers have also been threatening the press to keep the 49er brand, and themselves, from becoming “tainted” in the local legal community.  

Domestic Violence in Silicon Valley is at an all time high. Not because parents are more violent, but because divorce lawyers have colluded to grab more money in a divorce case cases using DV as a litigation tactic and local district attorneys have let them. 

Divorce Attorneys Nicole Ford and Elise Mitchell were recently overheard talking about ” arm  reduction surgeons”  and laughing about the fees they took in the Domestic Violence case involving former 49er Ray McDonald. A case that is getting a new look after the 49ers fired Ruben Foster following a Florida arrest for domestic violence. 

 District Attorney  Covered Up Domestic Violence to Protect 49er Image

Recently released Santa Clara police body cams show that 49er Ruben Foster got favorable treatment after the Santa Clara County DA refused to prosecute Foster for interfering with the police during a recent DV call.  Jeff Rosen when soft on similar claims that were pending against former 49er Ray McDonald, claims Rosen dragged out for three years and then let slip off into the golden plea deal Rosen is famous for offering high profile abusers. 

Josh Bentley, the lawyer for 49ers,  has reportedly been giving Jeff Rosen kickbacks to keep 49er DV issues out of Rosen’s office,  and out of the  media , including by ” fixing” stories that appear in the San Jose Mercury. 

Elise Mitchell, Ray McDonald’s family law attorney, is a divorce lawyer (who sits on fee arbitration panels for the Santa Clara County Bar Association) was  reportedly using secret deals in fee arbitrations to kickback favors to area lawyers. Mitchell  is also charged with  giving information and kickbacks to keep former 49er  Ray McDonald, out of jail. after he  beat the mother of his child in 2014 and in 2015.

Elise Mitchell reportedly crafted the legal culture of slut shaming victims by threatening the  media to not cover Kendra’s story in 2016, after it hit on ABC, NBC, TMZ, and CBS as McDonald was getting favorable treatment before Judge James Towery, a close friend of Elise Mitchell. Kendra Scott is one more high profile victim failed by Jeff Rosen, as Rosen took over the county’s Victim Services and panders to his political allies in lieu of serving victims. 

DA Jeff Rosen, and his former assistant,  Kayrn Sininu- Towery have a long history of letting 49ers out of serious charges of physical violence against others,  especially  intimate partner violence. That history led to Sinunu -Towery resigning in July 2013  before she was disbarred. It is no surprise her husband, James Towery, gave favorable treatment to these players in divorce and custody cases. 

Even now Jeff Rosen is reluctant to arrest a 49er who was already arrested in another state, as the San Jose Mercury reports. 

Another link to Rosen, is criminal lawyer Dan Jensen, a lawyer who gets regular referrals from the DA’s office and is reportedly is on the referral list for Silicon Valley’s high tech companies like Apple, Facebook and Google


                                     ACTIVELY KILLING MEDIA COVERAGE 

Independent news agencies and reporters have been reporting that 49ers, private divorce lawyers  and DA have been using the media to cover up the potential harm NFL players impose in a local community. ( See Tweet of Tim Kawakami back when he tried to cover McDonald back in 2014) .

Retired  49er players report that the 49er management  took  an active role in threatening the victim of 49er Ray McDonald, and regularly trains their players to get consent on their phones so that lawyer Josh Bentley, or Dan Jensen,  can get them out of charges of domestic violence or sexual assault. 

                                  JEFF ROSEN FAILS VICTIMS PROSECUTES PARENTS 

Court papers charge that Jeff Rosen, and the Santa Clara County Independent Defense Office (IDO), have been working to secret domestic violence and false claims of domestic violence back to 2010, when Rosen was running for office. More recently antitrust documents charge that Jeff Rosen has been using domestic violence victims to build his career and cover up real harm.  

                             Violence that Makes Divorce Lawyers Rich

Divorce Attorneys Sharon Roper and Bradford Baugh have been reportedly colluding to use domestic violence to earn more attorney fees, claiming they can earn over $100,000 in a single divorce case simply by adding in a false DV claim. 

DDA Allison Filo (who was charged with trying to send an innocent man to jail for rape), knew of this collusion back to 2013, but was told to cover it up as the Santa Clara County DA’s office as the office was under pressure in a high profile DV case, and as the Audrie Pott suicide was being used to make money for some of Jeff Rosen’s divorce lawyer friends.

Sharon Roper, a highly controversial court appointed lawyer for children, was recently hired by the Santa Clara County Courts and is charged in court documents as using false claims of domestic violence to profit herself. 

These same court  files charge that lawyers are acting in criminal conspiracies using  domestic violence as a profit opportunity. Recordings and emails that document  this conduct have been being presented to the State Bar for over 20 years, and the Bar has done little  discipline divorce lawyers who are getting rich by claiming DV in divorce cases.

While many people seek to use the legal system and fairly execute their divorce, a small number of people appear to be hiring divorce lawyers to draw out litigation and weave a false domestic violence claim, or pressure real victims to remain silent.  Sadly, good parents who may have had atypical emotional responses during a separation, are facing life time sentences that can impact their ability to work and pay support, none of which is good for children.  

                                        Can Your Divorce Lawyer Go To Jail? 

Most district attorneys refuse to prosecute perjury and criminal conspiracies in divorce cases, which has given divorce lawyers an invitation to violate the law and steal more than just outrageous fees.

An indictment of controversial divorce lawyer, Valerie Houghton, is one of the few criminal indictments charging a lawyer with felony white collar crimes, which include enhancement for stealing from a senior. Houghton was charged in 2016 and has still not gone to trial. Rumors abound that Jeff Rosen has directed the charges against Valerie Houghton to be dropped as a favor to James Towery, a sitting family court judge and close personal friend. Towery reportedly worked on Jeff Rosen’s political campaigns , including when Towery was Chief Trial Council at the California State Bar.  

The Houghton indictment is a cancer on the Santa Clara County District Attorney’s Office. It shows how Jeff Rosen has consistently failed to prosecute lawyers and 49ers as a form of protection and collusion with private divorce lawyers. An illegal protection  that fails victims over and over again.