How To Stop Trying To Please Everyone And Getting Walked All Over
There are many beautiful people in this community who give and give. Often, until it hurts.
They believed that this was the right way to treat people. Yet, other people (especially narcissists) took advantage of this to suck dry and abuse them, because they have so much to offer!
Find out how you can still be a giving, loving person and be loved, respected and supported by others yet retain yourself in this Thriver TV episode.
The most beautiful people in the world consistently try to please others.
We believed that this was the way to go, “treat others how you would like to be treated”.
But why did this end up in so much disaster, especially with narcissists?
Why was our good nature thrown back in our faces, and treated with so much contempt and abuse?
Today, I want to go on a deep Quantum dive with this topic, peel it back and help you understand the truth about it.
Let’s get going on this!
If You Don’t Piss Off Others, You Will Piss Yourself Off
I shared a post on Instagram not long ago, about the story of a man, woman, child and donkey.
To simplify the story, the four of them were in a marketplace and no matter who changed places on the donkey, to try to keep people happy, they kept expressing their displeasure.
Comments such as, “Why is this man not letting his wife ride on the donkey?”, “Why is this woman not putting her small child on the donkey?” And, “What a selfish child to be riding the donkey while his parents have to walk!”
In the end they all got on the donkey, and then of course people started shrieking, “Animal abuse!”
The moral to this story is there is always going to be somebody who doesn’t agree with you. If you try to be everything to everyone, then you are going to be doing this at a cost to your own soul and truth.
This even goes for close intimates. No one knows the truth of your journey, life and soul any more than you do, when you are committed to being a Thriver and self-partnered.
An incredible phenomenon starts to happen when you are.
You will say to the people in your life, “You don’t need to agree with me and join me. Either we allow each other to be ourselves and accept that, or if we can’t, then we need to move on with our own lives because we just simply are not a match.”
This isn’t right or wrong, it just is. Life is not about getting it right for everybody, it’s about being true to yourself in order to generate a life that is truthful to everybody.
If you agree with other people just so that they will love and accept you, you are not being truthful. You are not giving them the essential feedback about who you are and what does or doesn’t make you happy.
Inevitably you are going to be miserable, and then not be a whole and happy person around them anyway!
There has been so much distortion and confusion regarding trying to keep others happy, thinking that it can make us happy. But, it never works like that!
The Deeper Quantum Truths
I hope now at this stage Dear Thrivers that you are starting to understand so many of my philosophies and healings are about so within, so without.
This means as the generative force of your own experience, your life is not up to other people or even circumstances outside of yourself.
It is about who you decide to be. What are your limits and truth? What is important to you? What is your soul calling you to do and experience?
There is only one you and your soul knows how to unfold exactly and accordingly with what is your True Self and True Life. Your soul and your emotions don’t get it wrong.
People and situations that are not your truth are never going to deliver your True Self and True Life. They will simply give you the pain, delays, blocks and frustrations that are telling you that you are not on track.
There is only one place that your life is being generated, and that is from the authenticity and truth within yourself. When you are true to you and your Inner Being, then you are true to life in the most honourable and the highest of ways.
What and who is your truth will gravitate towards you. You will stop being inauthentic to others by trying to be everything that they want you to be, for you to be happy, and discovering that never makes other people happy anyway! It’s a bottomless pit!
Rather, it just trains them to overlook, disrespect and take advantage of you.
I understand that this is confronting.
But, when we take the radical personal responsibility to understand that our life is not up to anybody else, it is up to our own alignment with our Inner Being, which means being truthful to our own desires and life.
By trying to keep everybody else happy, we are not even in the park, let alone near the goals.
People Don’t Treat Us As We Treat Them
Think about your life. The times when you gave and gave and gave were probably the times when you were disrespected and taken for granted the most.
Why is this?
If we want to remain victims, we would say it is because other people are terrible!
But there is a much deeper truth to this, and that is when we understand Quantum Law of so within, so without, we can accept and be empowered to realise that people are going to treat us in the identical ways that we treat ourselves.
If we are saying “yes” when we really want to say “no” and bending over backwards to assist others so that we might be able to get some scraps of their love and loyalty, we are not being truthful to ourselves.
And we are not coming from a place of fullness. Rather we are coming from a place of emptiness and inner lack.
Then these people are going to supply the evidence of what is already going on inside of us – more emptiness and lack.
Are you starting to understand?
It took me a while to understand this deeply.
I used to think that if I honoured myself, and I filled up first, before looking after others this was somehow selfish.
I had to do a lot of deep inner work on myself to get out of the guilt that if I did look after myself that I was somehow wrong, and that other people would not love me and approve of me.
Yet, when I cleared these awful traumas about guilt, responsibility and obligation I truly became free. I also discovered that love, respect and support flooded into my life genuinely. Completely matching the love, respect, and support I now had from myself.
I cannot recommend enough doing this essential inner work.
NARP Module 6 is powerful to heal these traumas and programming. I spent a lot of time hanging out in Module 6 work to get this right, and the results have been astounding,
As they will be for you!
If this deeply resonates with you, I cannot recommend enough that you check out the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) to release yourself from giving until it hurts.
If this feels right and exciting to you, I would love for you to click this link and sign up for NARP today.
It will change your life beyond recognition!
Thank you for watching this to the end, and please remember to like and share this video with other people you know it can help, and as always I am thrilled about being able to answer your comments and questions below.