The One Sign of Pathological Narcissism You’ve Never Heard Before: Part II
Following up with my previous video, here I clarify that covert and overt narcissism lead to childhood stories that may seem vastly different, but they share one common feature.
Narcissism seems to be born of neglect and abuse, both of which are notorious for creating an insecure attachment style (for more on attachment, see here www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/romance-redux/201211/five-ways-overcome-feelings-neediness and here www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/romance-redux/201206/are-secure-relationships-the-key-exciting-life).
But the very fact that narcissists, for all their posturing, are deeply insecure, also gives us an easy way to spot them. Insecurely attached people can’t talk coherently about their family and childhood; their early memories are confused, contradictory, and riddled with gaps. Narcissists often give themselves away precisely because their childhood story makes no sense, and the most common myth they carry around is the perfect family story. If your date sings their praises for their exalted family but the reasons for their panegyric seem vague or discursive, look out. The devil is in the details, as they say — and very likely, that’s why you’re not hearing them.
BARNES & NOBLE: www.barnesandnoble.com/noresults/9780062348104